Oscar Wilde is credited with saying, “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” Easier said than done, perhaps. In a world where we are expected to look and act in a certain way, we end up pleasing everyone but ourselves. In order to belong we bury our true selves and this can lead to despair. So how would it feel if the only role you play this lifetime is to just be yourself?
The story of Oscar Wilde did not end happily. Once lauded on the London stage and feted by society, he suffered the fate of languishing in jail after publicly declaring his love for a man — which was, at that time, deemed a crime. His tumble from grace was irrevocable and he ended up impoverished in Paris, dying at only 46. Being himself cost him everything including his life but living a lie had become unbearable. He could not deny his truth.
This story is not an unfamiliar one for many people, even in this day and age. The anguish of knowing who you are but pretending to be something else for fear of scorn or rejection can end in tragedy. Whether it is society or on a much smaller scale with friends or family, revealing your true self can be the toughest act you can do. Ironically, it can be hardest with those you love.
It takes courage to live your true life, especially when it comes to identity, sexuality or following cultural norms. How often do we see young people forced into studies or careers, trying to live up to parental expectations only to break out later or, worse still, suffering in silence interminably? Support and acceptance from those around is the pathway to freedom for many who feel trapped inside themselves. And, like Wilde, it takes courage to be yourself.
The great French existential writer and commentator Jean-Paul Sartre famously said, “Hell is other people.” Living up to expectations or conforming to societal norms can affect any chance of happiness when you compromise who you are.
We are beholden to what others think of us and we act accordingly. Oftentimes we revert to taking safe or soft options — we compromise our values or forgo principles that would otherwise govern how we would conduct our lives. Moreover, we step back from taking risks and abandon our sense of purpose. As a result we fail to act on our own intuition, deferring to the will or way of others.
Bu hikaye WellBeing dergisinin Issue 181 sayısından alınmıştır.
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Bu hikaye WellBeing dergisinin Issue 181 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Giriş Yap
YOGA FOR IMPERFECTION
Life is messy and we all make mistakes, but by embracing imperfection, we can begin to accept all parts of ourselves.
Creating the foundations of ritualist self-care
As a busy mum of a three-year-old and expecting another baby, finding time for self-care often feels like a luxury.
Are you doom spending?
If \"doom spending\" has become your go-to for coping with stress, you could be making withdrawals from not just your bank account, but your health too.
THE POWER OF music
Most of us enjoy music. But science shows music is central to being human and its effect on us is far more astonishing and impactful than we realise. Music is fundamental to life.
SYNTHETIC FOODS
Synthetic, or genetically modified, fake meats and the like attempt to mimic real meat in both looks, taste and texture. But how much do we really know about the production process and how do they affect the environment and our bodies?
Embracing the power of nature
Menopause is more than just a biological change, it represents a significant life stage that can present numerous challenges - from hot flushes and mood swings to fatigue and sleepless nights.
Jan Fran
From a young age, Jan Fran's deep curiosity and keen interest in social issues sparked her journey into the world of journalism. As an accomplished journalist, media commentator and broadcaster, Fran's passion for storytelling has always been driven by a desire to explore, question and shed light on the world around her.
Helping teen girls thrive
Statistics reveal that many more teen girls are struggling with mental health issues. What's going on with them? More importantly, what can we do to help them flourish?
Your ageing eyes
Your eyes work hard for you every waking minute. It is no surprise that how your eyes age will be determined by how you protect them. Eating the right foods can go along way towards ensuring that your eyes stay healthy for a lifetime.
The bottom line
During the Couid pandemic, we were shocked to see people fighting in supermarkets over toilet paper and to see empty shelves that had once held roll after roll. The reasons behind the run for toilet paper during this time reflect the unique place that it holds in our psyche and are deeply rooted in our history.