YOU'RE ASKING THE WRONG QUESTIONS ABOUT ALIENS

Scientists who study extraterrestrial intelligence actually have a few questions about us

- SHANNON STIRONE

COMMANDER DAVID FRAVOR of the U. S. Navy was behind the controls of a fighter jet over the Pacific Ocean in 2004 when he spotted something weird. It hovered over the water, churning it so forcefully that it appeared to be boiling. Moments later, the object accelerated away from him at a shocking speed. In 2015, another Navy pilot spied a fast-moving object at a low altitude over the Atlantic. “What the fuck is that thing?” he radioed a sentiment that basically everyone who heard about the two incidents shared.

What the fuck is that thing?

We’ve been wondering pretty much exactly that for as long as humans have walked the earth, searching for meaning and connection in the skies above us. But it’s lately reached a fever pitch, an almost wishful fervor. You might even say we’ve become obsessed.

Early this summer, the Office of the Director of National Intelligence released its long-awaited report on the topic of “What the fuck is that thing?” But it didn’t do much to explain away the UFOs that the Navy pilots encountered back in 2004 and 2015—or any of the 144 accounts the report took up. Here were the broad strokes: 1) The ODNI wants us to stop calling them UFOs and start calling them UAPs, or unidentified aerial phenomena, and 2) Those weren’t aliens. But if anyone thought the ODNI report would end speculation, boy, were they wrong. If anything, it just got us all wondering even harder: Are we alone in the cosmic void? Put more bluntly: Are aliens real?