Do You Hear What I Hear?
The Oprah Magazine|August 2019

O investigates why some like it LOUD—while others need life to be whisper-quiet.

Sunny Sea Gold
Do You Hear What I Hear?

I ONCE BURST INTO TEARS in a crowded restaurant because the commotion—and my friend’s highpitched laughter—made me feel like my head was going to explode. And whenever my daughters, ages 5 and 8, bombard me with chatter, I feel dazed, as if I’ve been zapped with one of those brain-scrambling neuralyzer wands from Men in Black. Yet somehow my husband, a quiet guy himself, manages to navigate not only dining establishments but also street fairs and even children’s birthday parties unfazed.

You’ve probably noticed puzzling disparities like this in your own life: Maybe your partner—who has perfectly good hearing, by the way— insists on listening to the TV at such a loud volume that you overheard the Game of Thrones finale in the shower. Or perhaps you have a friend who becomes enraged when people dare to audibly chew.

The degree to which our auditory preferences differ can be astounding— and alienating. In fact, Marsha Johnson, an audiologist who sees patients from all over the world in her clinic in Portland, Oregon, has treated children who are unable to eat at the raucous family dinner table and women so bothered by their husband’s breathing that they seriously contemplate divorce.

How can something as seemingly simple as sound have such a profound impact on our lives? “I’ve spent over 25 years thinking about this very thing,” says Johnson. “Our auditory ability is one of our most developed and important.”

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