Alice Purkiss has been criticised for being ‘too sensitive’ all her life. But research suggests that one in five of us has this inherent trait, and it comes with many benefits
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been told that I’m emotionally oversensitive. One of my first school reports informed my parents that I was ‘hard-working, diligent and cheerful’ but that I had the tendency to be ‘too sensitive’. In my teens, my friends told me I needed to toughen up. At university, I was advised not to take criticism so personally. Now, I refuse to watch Pride Of Britain Awards for fear of flooding the country with tears.
It’s certainly true that I feel things intensely. Often those feelings are on ‘extra loud’ and impossible to ignore: I get overwhelmed by bad news, spend days ruminating on inconsequential feedback, and am all too aware if friends or loved ones are sad, angry, exhausted, fraught or frustrated. I mirror their feelings, often absorbing them myself.
Emotional sensitivity has long been held to be a personality trait that has numerous negative connotations. It’s associated with being weak, incapable and fragile, and derided as a ‘feminine’ quality. Those who are in touch with their feelings, and experience the full force of them, are seen to be emotionally frivolous, which goes against the principle of the British stiff upper lip we’ve been conditioned to imitate.
A force for good
But recently, I’ve had an awakening: a growing certainty that what some may perceive as my greatest weakness is actually one of my biggest strengths. Contrary to popular belief, I’ve come to learn that sensitivity is, in fact, a superpower – one shared by 15 to 20 percent of the population. I’ve learned that emotional sensitivity is not ‘my fault’; it is something that is hardwired in us, and it comes with many special gifts.
Bu hikaye Psychologies dergisinin November 2017 sayısından alınmıştır.
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Bu hikaye Psychologies dergisinin November 2017 sayısından alınmıştır.
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