Monster Muncher

The new Aston Martin Valiant is what happens when Fernando Alonso wants a new company car, but doesn't think the Valour is quite aggressive enough...

- VIJAY PATTN

Fernando is faster than you. Proof of that immortal line comes not just in his two Formula One world titles, an undimmed talent for speed and lightning cockpit wit, but in this big, bronze supercar.

Because this big, bronze supercar is called the Aston Martin Valiant, and it exists chiefly because Alonso wanted something spikier, harder, and racier than than the already fairly silly Valour. And apparently Aston's V-themed thesaurus is still rich in new car names.

But while they broke the mould when they made Alonso, Aston clearly didn't when it built this Valiant. Looks just like the Valour.

And the Victor before it. And neither of those cars are what you'd call "embarrassing, very embarrassing".

Which means the squared off, 'You looking at me?' aesthetic is transferred over pretty much wholesale from the Valour before it, barring a few important updates. Of course, the inspiration for this entire series of cars comes from an Aston way before it all - the V8 Vantage-based RHAM/1 'Muncher' Le Mans car that raced in the late 1970s.

Would've loved to have heard 'Nando's onboard had he raced the V8 in that era - the car got its 'Muncher' nickname because it chomped through brake discs at a scary rate.

So, scary nickname, scary looks. The Valiant's entire body is built from carbon fibre, with a magnificently angry, almost sharklike nose squaring off a low, wide and unashamedly muscular silhouette. Aston tells us "every inch of the Valiant's immaculately sculpted form serves an aesthetic and aerodynamic function". We reckon it went to town on the former and slapped on a wing to pacify the latter.