Tame your TEMPER

How to rein in the rage when you're pushed to breaking point

Hands up if you’ve ever gone home and screamed into a pillow after someone cut you off in traffic? Or maybe you had a bad day at work and swept all the files off your desk, spilling a cup of coffee in the process? Modern life is stressful, and we all have moments when we feel like exploding.

“Anger is human,” says Dr Mandy Deeks, a psychologist at Jean Hailes for Women’s Health in Melbourne. “It’s a healthy emotion for us to have but if it’s affecting your day-to-day living, then you need to do something about it.”

KNOW THE TRIGGERS

Ever felt like the tiniest thing going wrong will set you off? While some situations are simply out of our hands, they’re rarely the cause for anger bubbling over from annoyance to blinding rage in seconds.

“If someone came to me as a client and they were angry, I’d be looking for what else is connected [to their mood],” Dr Deeks says. “Maybe your parents have declined in health, you’ve changed careers or perhaps your relationship has changed? Anger is the most publicly displayed emotion when it may not be appropriate to display sadness.”

Recognising which situations and emotions fuel your anger is the first step to coping. “We often have anger as a result of other emotions like frustration, being disappointed, hurt or frightened because it’s suddenly clear that you don’t have the control you thought you had,” Dr Deeks says.