LOVE & LIKES

WHEN DOES SOCIAL-MEDIA FLIRTING BECOME CHEATING? LET’S TALK IT OUT.

- LAUREN LARSON CLAY SKIPPER

THE QUESTION OF what is and is not digital infidelity has haunted monogamous types since cyber pioneers gingerly typed "sex" into ancestral search engines. But it became even more complicated and even more important for couples to answer once social media entered our lives, then took over our lives. When Men's Health writer Lauren Larson began spiraling over the role of social media in her own relationships, she asked a friend, writer Clay Skipper (plus a real expert, Dr. Katrin Tiidenberg, a professor at Tallinn University and co-author of Sex and Social Media), to help her find the line between harmless browsing and Insta infidelity.

LAUREN LARSON: Clay, how much time would you say you tend to spend investigating the social media activity of your partners?

CLAY SKIPPER: The filtered, made-for Instagram version of my answer is "Why, not at all. I am a completely secure, trusting, evolved human." The reality is that, in the past, I've definitely played the "Well, who is this new follow, and how is his jawline?" game more than I should have. But as I've gotten older, I've tried to keep myself from stumbling down that rabbit hole. It has never yielded anything worthwhile, and relationships are stressful enough without social-media paranoia.