Relationship finance

Issues around money and managing finances will probably surface in most relationships - but it doesn't have to be prickly

- Shannon Manuel

NAVIGATING A FINANCIAL IMBALANCE

This occurs when one partner earns significantly more than the other, which may cause friction. We tend to think of financial imbalance between partners who are married or cohabitating (since they have more shared financial obligations). But even those dating can experience situations such as who shouts dinner and whether they buy each other gifts.

Relationship Counsellor Janet Winterbourne gives us insight into how to talk about and overcome a financial imbalance that's a source of contention in your relationship.

Why do money matters cause conflict in a relationship?

Many couples don't discuss their financial expectations of each other in the beginning, or when their circumstances change, i.e. when children come along, which can change one partner's ability to work or earn, often leading to frustration and conflict due to a lack of clarity. It can be a source of conflict, but if both partners are honest about their ability to contribute and accept there may need to be a pro-rata split, it needn't be a deal breaker.

Some argue income disparity in couples is less about amounts of money and more about overall fairness and equity in a relationship.

That's often the case. If there's a notable disparity in earnings yet the expectation is that both partners contribute equally, needs to either their lifestyle accommodate the lower income or a percentage of contribution agreed to create a fair "balance". This way, one doesn't feel cash-strapped and pressured while the other enjoys more disposable income.