Divorced &loving it!

Later life divorce is trending and for many women, it’s providing the opportunity to rebuild their lives on their own terms.

- TRUDIE MCCONNOCHIE

Marriages that endure to the end of life have long been celebrated, from Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip to Noah and Allie in The Notebook. For some couples, however, the story plays out very differently.

Since the 1980s, the proportion of separations among couples who've been married for 20 years and longer has been increasing - a phenomenon known as "grey divorce".

And for the women leaving those relationships, facing the second half of their lives without the person they'd assumed they'd see out their sunset years with can be both liberating and confronting.

At 67-years-old Fran Roberts, whose 30-year marriage ended in 2015, is emphatic that she will never remarry. She spends her days indulging her passions for art, music, travel, books, podcasts, good food and wine. Whether it's attending an organ recital, lunching with her adult children or hitting the pavement with her weekly walking group, Fran relishes having agency over her time, and is intent on making the most of that.

"Who knows how long you've got?" she points out. Prioritising her own needs might have invoked guilt when she was a mum of two young children, but now that her kids are grown-ups, that's no longer the case.

"I think I've shared enough of my life and devoted it to other people," says Fran, who retired from her administration role last year. "I was a pretty full-time mother for a long time, and now I'm just happy to enjoy my independence. And it might be a little selfish, but I think that's okay.

I love being able to plan my life as I please." It can be bewildering to find yourself suddenly single after the age of 50, but once the dust has settled, increasing numbers of women like Fran are embracing the opportunity to create a life that's centred around their own dreams and desires. Being partnered, they've found, is no longer an essential component of a fulfilling life.