Twas the night before Christmas...

And all through the house, not a McDermott was Stirring well, apart from our columnist of course.

- PAT MCDERMOTT 

Yes, that’s me you can hear muttering. It’s 10pm on Christmas Eve and I’m in the linen cupboard. I’m looking for my giant white linen tablecloth. I washed, ironed and packed it away 12 months ago. Now I can’t find it.

It’s not an ordinary tablecloth. It was my mum’s. It’s so big you could tack it to the mast of any old boat and, with a decent wind behind you, win the Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race on Boxing Day.

As I fussed about in cupboard after cupboard and drawer after drawer the MOTH The Man of the House) reminded me that this year we were going to keep things simple. So I found the crumpled Christmas Guidelines I wrote some years ago. Have they stood the test of time, I wondered? I’ll let you decide.