CATEGORIES

SCOTT: I'M NOT QUITE A SIR BRAD

DUNCAN SCOTT insists he belongs to the supporting cast of Team GB Olympic greats.

NO GLORY FOR DINA

Alfred's great as Neita the bright spot for GB

Birthday overload blows it for Tom

TOM PIDCOCK had his cake and ate it – but it ruined his chances of winning back-to-back gold medals in Paris.

A press gang Slot for Nunez

LIVERPOOL boss Arne Slot has already phoned Darwin Nunez to tell the Uruguayan striker he wants him to be the frontman for his Reds revolution.

Freddie made to be new supremo

ANDREW FLINTOFF would be the ideal “infectious” character to succeed Matthew Mott and help rebuild England’s white-ball outfit.

Sleepeaters

DOG FOOD ON MENU FOR DOZING COOKS

GOGGLEBOXER

Kellie: Daytime telly showed me how to look like a lady..

Go to the pub & get a six pack

‘YOU CAN HAVE A PINT AND BE FIT’

Hospital dash after psycho gull attack..

BIRD SWOOPS ON HOLIDAYMAKER

CLEVER BOGS

Toilet's the best place to come up with good ideas

Hate Britain

PM VOWS: WE'LL BEAT THE MOBS

Harry: Never kiss your dog on lips!

'IT COULD SPARK NEW PANDEMIC'

£5m POTS OF GOLD..

Olympic heroes to rake in cash from sponsors

LINFORD: I HAVE LOST MY GONGS

Track king's medals 'in house somewhere'

Donald pumps

GOLD TRAINERS 'DESIGNED' BY TRUMP UP FOR £38K ON EBAY

FEARS AS U.S SENDS FIGHTERS

Biden bid to stop all-out war

FINAL BOSS

ETH plans makeover

Jamie dodger

SMITH DENIED HEROIC FIRST TON AS JOE HITS 12K

I'M DOG TIRED

Snoring pets in bedrooms wreck a good night's sleep

Jail photo booth is a drug drop

SNEAKY LAGS IN FRAME

MELV: IT AIN'T HALF HOT FUN

'Bleep show to get it back on TV'

CHEATBOTS!

Thousands of university students caught using Al

Welcome to 32C summer.. for all of 3 days

AND GUESS WHAT, THERE'S CHAOS

SPOTLIFTERS

Celebrity pimple patches trigger a shop theft spree

Playing a round..where's yer tan?

LOVE CHEATS' GOLFING LIES EXPOSED

GULLS WING BOTH WAYS

And so does the.. ahem, cockchafer (it's a beetle!)

Gen Z sickos dunk their biccies in OJ

DISTURBING DIPPING TREND ON RISE

THE MOOFIA

Mobsters buy cows to 'clean' stolen millions

Two good already!

BRITAIN burst out of the blocks to record the nation's best opening day at an Olympics for 44 years.

Only Fools ..and Gators

'BRAVE' DEL BOY IN SWAMP PERIL