We’d met only once, but within a week, I’d found a news article applauding his work, the value of his parents’ holiday house and his ex-girlfriend’s Facebook. And not because he told me details on any of these facts, but because I was on a mission to find out everything – mind you, anything – I could about my new crush. If you think I’m creepy AF, I’m not surprised. But if you can also relate, I’m not surprised, either.
It’s Human Instinct
The desire to seek out information about a person of interest is about as natural as breathing. “The more we know about someone, the more we can connect with them, which helps fill our need for love and belonging,” says psychologist Dr Michelle Drouin, who studies technology’s role in relationships. In the past, that would happen organically – we’d learn about somebody solely through our real-life experiences with them (aka dating). But in 2019, when info is literally at our fingertips (clicking around Google, scrolling on Instagram), women are filling in the gaps through their own digital detective work.
A quick “is this person who they say they are?” search is the responsible thing to do. But, knowing that nuggets of truth float around us like dust particles in the air, most of us don’t stop there. Once we’ve deemed someone a worthy match, we’ll keep searching for evidence to confirm that, piecing the particles together as we fall deeper and deeper into a fact-gathering rabbit hole. While there’s no clinical term for the social media-fuelled habit in any psych textbook, experts have given it a compelling name: soft stalking.
The Hard Truth
This story is from the January/February 2020 edition of Women's Health South Africa.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the January/February 2020 edition of Women's Health South Africa.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Irreconcilable Differences?
You’re one-upping your partner on all health fronts and now your relationship has more tension than your new resistance bands. Here’s how to get over the hurdle of mismatched goals.
Hot And Bothered
Inflammation is all the rage in health conversations right now and research is establishing it as a major player in all sorts of issues you don't want to deal with. But! You can safeguard yourself from the smokin' internal inferno with these smart strategies.
Self-esteem under the microscope
The term brings to mind positive-thinking memes with sunset backdrops and swirly lettering. But could I you sum up self-esteem when asked as part of a pub quiz? Didn't think so. And there's more at stake here than winning the points.
the reset
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO START OVER
Mind Over Muscle
Could you level up your strength training just by putting your mind to it?
ON BEING THE HEROINE OF YOUR OWN LIFE
Olympian. All-African Games winner. African champion. Record-breaker. Javelin athlete Jo-Ané van Dyk talks mental fortitude and what it takes to live up to your own hype. If there's one thing she can do, it's to throw down. And it's all about to reach peak levels.
Why Women Are Choosing to Be Child-Free
The choice can be liberating, yet stigmas persist. Here, how to cut through the noise with clarity and confidence to make the decision that's right for *you.*
FUEL YOUR SKIN
Inside your body, there's a crew of unsung protein heroes that scientists believe are the key to a healthy, glowing complexion. Heads-up: your routine is about to change for the better.
How To Be Decisive
You could use a Magic 8 ball to help you make a choice. Or, while you're waiting to 'ask again later', let our experts explain the best ways to get unstuck.
Build A Strong Base
You heard it here: the pelvic floor is the forgotten core - and you're selling yourself short by waiting for a specific life stage to train it. Your four-move workout is here.
