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Time to spread their wings

Psychologies UK

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September 2024

As the seasons shift and shudder, threatening rhythm and routine, Heidi Scrimgeour embraces September in all its bittersweetness...

Time to spread their wings

I've always loved September.

To me, it's the true season of fresh starts. From shiny new school shoes and carefully chosen lunch boxes, to the energising momentum that comes from picking up routine again after slower summer days, September has long been my favourite month. But, recently, as the ninth month of the year has come to mean bigger changes in my family life, it's a season I am finding much more bittersweet.

Take autumnal family walks. There was a time when all it took was for me to pop my head around a bedroom door and say 'Beach walk?' and video games were hastily abandoned, my kids tugging on coats and wriggling into shoes. Then, almost overnight, my invitations were gently rebuffed. Once, twice, and then I quietly stopped asking, for all our sakes.

Without warning, the rhythm of our family life had changed, and I had to adjust quickly - like when the music changes on the dance floor and your choice is to sit down or catch the tempo of the next tune and keep moving.

I chose to keep dancing.

imageAt first there were sweet, considered excuses. I'm just going to finish this game. I've got to revise for an exam.

Maybe tomorrow. Then, one day, the penny dropped; the days of easy companionship were over and we were firmly in a new phase of family life, where going for a walk with your mum was far down the list of fun things to do.

But it wasn't as sad as it sounds. I remember feeling strangely delighted that my boys had safely reached this shore of independence, where they felt free to turn me down in favour of laughter with their friends, who only seemed to exist inside expensive gaming headsets - unlike the days when I knew the names and dinner preferences of all their closest pals.

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