ANIMAL lovers and politicians are up in arms that the National Institutes of Health is refusing to keep its paws off 28 lab chimps that are no longer being used for research — even though the law requires them to resettle the senior simians at a sprawling Louisiana sanctuary!
It has been over two decades since the Alamogordo Primate Facility in New Mexico stopped experimenting on their hapless hairy prisoners, and a 2000 federal law — the CHIMP Act, for Chimpanzee Health Improvement Maintenance Protection — says they must ship the retired rascals to Chimp Haven, a 200-acre protected wilderness for the big guys.
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TEACHER TEMPTRESS MARY KAY'S KID IS PREGNANT!
THE older daughter from the unholy hookup of late cradle-robbing schoolteacher Mary Kay Letourneau and the sixth-grader she bedded at 12, Vili Fualaau, is about to have a baby of her own!
FBI ON RED ALERT FOR NEW AI SCAMS!
They can steal your voice & fool anyone
ANDREW PAL BOOTED AS CHINA SPY!
New scandal brews for pitiful prince
BURIED ALIVE!
Boytoy renegs on guilty plea in monstrous murder of lover
BONE UP ON NUTRIENTS FOR HEALTH
MORE than half the world's population doesn't consume enough vital micronutrients including calcium, iron and vitamins C and E, according to a study from the Harvard T. H. Chan School of Public Health.
MAN-HUNTING KIM PUTS BEST FACE FORWARD!
No nip untucked in quest for sexy perfection
JOE IS FADING FAST!
Cracking open Biden's secret medical file
COSTNER RIDES SOLO IN SADDLE!
Ex-pals treating him like yesterday's news
JOST'S JOKES PUT JENNINGS IN JEOPARDY!
JOVIAL Colin Jost is hitting it out of the ballpark on Pop Culture Jeopardy! and sources say the SNL favorite's instant popularity has insecure regular Jeopardy! host Ken Jennings worried he may soon be reduced to a trivia item!
J.LO LIVES IN A HAUNTED HOUSE!
Struggles to unload love nest she once shared with Ben