I'm on tight leash but she goes wild

NO WAY THAT IT IS FAIR

- JANE O GORMAN

MY girlfriend keeps me on a tight leash.

I can't make a purchase or hatch a plan unless she says it's OK.

Every day we drive to work together from my flat, then I pick her up at 6pm on the dot.

Going for a swift half with my colleagues is out of the question as she doesn't like any of them.

At home she cooks while I clean. I've given up watching the news because I'm not allowed to express an opinion.

Bedtime is OK. We still have sex most nights (completely on her terms, mind) then we go to sleep. All very predictable, all very normal - if a little dull.

But at the weekend she's a completely different animal. She insists we travel back to her hometown on Friday nights.

We stay with her (appalling) best friend and she lets rip. In the bosom of her mates, she's a nightmare. She drinks, dances and behaves like an entitled brat.