You frequently hear people express the view that dementia is a cruel disease, and it is. Watching your loved ones lose the pieces of their identity that make them unique can be heartbreaking.
Yet in experiencing my mother's dementia, I found a joy that we had not had in our relationship before, and I know that she felt it too. The illness brought us much closer. My relationship with my mother had been quite distant. Photographs of the two of us together when I was a baby show her cuddling me affectionately, dazzling the camera with her smile. Within five years however, her marriage had broken down and she went through an unpleasant divorce; perhaps it was this that turned someone who had seemed open and demonstrative into the wary and withdrawn woman I came to know.
Even so, I knew she loved me. I felt it. 'Give my love to everyone,' she would say when we spoke on the phone. It was a form of words that she was comfortable with, not too intimate or exposing.
When we saw each other, the hugs were awkward, not heartfelt, if we hugged at all. My mother found it much simpler to praise my academic achievements than to offer unconditional love. I'm proud of you' was easier to say than 'I love you.'
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
MAGNIFICENT MAURITIUS
Pe This istand in the ut 7% Indian Ocean feels Sa: like paradise, says Charlotte Richards
I HATE BEING A MUM
One woman, 55, reveals why she resents all of the sacrifices she made to be a mother
SLASH SUGAR AND SLIM
Trying to lose weight? With these clever tweaks, you don’t have to miss out on the seasonal sweet stuff
DAWN HARPER ASK THE DOCTOR
Doctor Dawn Harper answers all your questions
SEX HORRORS SOLVED!
Stop physical intimacy from turning into the stuff of nightmares with our expert advice
THE TRUTH ABOUT LIFE WITH CANCER
More than 12,000 people are diagnosed with brain tumours each year in the UK. Two mums tell us how the cruel disease changed their lives forever
DAWN NEESOM MIND OF MY OWN
The Woman's Own columnist has her say on marriage, tea and Absolutely Fabulous!
TRAPPED INSIDE MY HOME WITH A MONSTER
Gemma Williams, 46, thought she'd die at the hands of her partner
AMANDA TO REPLACE CAT?
With increasing criticism directed at the This Morning host, are producers ready to call in a familiar face?
Get the GOSS
Your round-up of this week's biggest showbiz stories