Staring down at the pregnancy test in my hands, I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing. ‘I’m pregnant,’ I laughed to my husband Jack, then 28, as tears of joy began to fall.
It was 2020 and Jack and I hadn’t been expecting to receive such good news so soon. Our firstborn, Rory, was nine months old, and we’d struggled to conceive him, so, perhaps naively, we’d thought trying for a second child might be the same. Only now, the test in my hand said otherwise. I knew two under two wasn’t going to be easy. ‘But think how close they’ll be,’ I smiled at Jack, who pulled me in for a hug.
My pregnancy progressed well, only, at my 20-week scan in November 2020, our happiness turned to fear.
‘Your baby is missing their right forearm,’ the technician said, pointing at the screen.
Doctors didn’t know why our baby hadn’t developed properly, but we were told they’d be born with a disability. Wandering out of the ultrasound suite in a daze and back to the car, I couldn’t stop crying.
I was terrified of the unknown and couldn’t help blaming myself. Had I done something wrong during my pregnancy? Doctors had reassured me that the cause was unknown and was nothing I’d done, but it was hard. ‘How will they cope?’
I finally choked to Jack. I couldn’t help but worry about our baby’s future, fretting that they’d be bullied at school and that they’d struggle to keep up with their peers.
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