Watching my little girl Lottie snatch her twin brother Corey’s favourite puzzle from his hand, I stifled a giggle and put on my ‘cross mummy face’. At 16 months, she was definitely already the boss. But watching them together truly couldn’t have made me any happier because it had been such a long, difficult journey to get here, one that cost us more than £40,000.
I’d always dreamed of having children. Even when I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome at 17 it never crossed my mind that it wouldn't happen.
I started working for a travel agent, bought a house, and hoped that marriage and babies wouldn't be too far behind.
But by the time I was 22 it became clear that it wasn't going to happen easily. I had a procedure to have my ovaries drilled, which involved making small holes in my ovaries to help me to menstruate, but it didn't make any difference. Then my boyfriend and I split up.
Three years later, in 2010, I met Gareth, then 30, at work. We fell in love and both agreed that we wanted children, so started trying straight away. After a couple of years, though, I still wasn't pregnant. We smiled and congratulated friends who announced pregnancies, but inside I was crying with frustration and hurt that it wasn't us.
Then, one day, my sister Jenny, then 28, had an announcement. She sounded anxious and I knew what she was going to say before she even said I'm pregnant.
Congratulations, I told her, blinking back tears. And I was thrilled for her. She's my sister so of course I was happy. But it didn't make it any easier to accept that it wasn't me who was having a baby.
'It will happen,' Gareth reassured me, and I tried my best to remain positive.
YEARS PASSED
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