ADVENTURES IN COUPLING

...AND THROUPLING, QUADING AND EVEN SOME OLD-FASHIONED SWINGING. ARE ANY OF THEM RIGHT FOR YOU?

- SUZANNAH WEISS

MOST OF us grew up believing that a monogamous marriage was #relationshipgoals. But with Will Smith owning his open relationship and a throuple showing up on House Hunters, a growing number of people are wondering if strict exclusivity is human nature or if it's yet another myth that society sneakily sells us.

Ethical nonmonogamy, or ENM-in which members of a couple consent to having additional sexual and/or romantic partnersis gaining popularity. More than a fifth of single adults have engaged in ENM, according to a recent study in the Journal of Sex&Marital Therapy, and a 2016 study in The Journal of Sex Research found that Google searches for "polyamory" and "open relationships" rose steadily from January 2006 to December 2015. In a 2021 You-Gov poll, about 25 percent of more than 23 000 participants said they're interested in an open relationship.

"The social stigma around alternative sexualities has been slowly but surely waning over the last decade, with more positive media representation than ever," says Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, who teaches human sexuality at New York University and runs a course and event series about open relationships. Plus, ENM is getting simpler to pull off: "Dating apps make finding multiple partners easier than ever," she adds. "Honesty and consent have become more important to us post-#MeToo. And the pandemic forced so many of us into a period of extreme monotony, which exposed the limitations of monogamy to many couples."