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Mon dieu!
BORDEAUX WINE GOING TEE-TOTAL
FRUIT LOOPS
Barmy boffs want to slap pineapple on a full English
BOFFS' BIG LEAP FOR CYBORGS
Part-human robot can walk
I'M OP FOR IT
King visits Kate and has successful surgery
Get yer big coats on this weekend
SNOW LET-UP AS WHITE STUFF TO BLAST US AGAIN
Sleep makes you so TIRED
7HRS IS BEST
JURGEN: It's tough AT THE Klopp
'Energy-low' Reds boss quits club
PO SAGA: NOW IT'S A COVER UP
Bosses tried to sack team who revealed Horizon bugs
Ryder: Brain drug twisted my melon
ADHD PILL'S TOO MUCH FOR SHAUN
LOWER TAX BILL FOR UK SUPER-RICH
Paid less last year than 2022
WARR HERO
Burgess says Luke's an inspiration
HART ATTACK
Stokes keeps faith as Indian hitmen target rookie Tom
Dodgy past will not let me enjoy future
HOW DO I OPEN UP TO GIRL?
BACK FUR GOOD
Lost puss Whiskas found 10 years on
LIONS' ANT & DEATH
Tree insects threaten to kill off jungle kings
SAW POINT
THEFT HAMMER BLOW FOR SKILLED WORKERS
SPACE COWBOYS GIVEN A ROCKET
'Secret' mining mission quick to raise suspicions
Tight fat cats
RICHEST GIVING LESS TO CHARITY THAN POOREST
Bigfoots? They are big bears
BOFFINS bished the have rubmajority of Bigfoot sightings, claiming they're probably just \"really big bears\".
TRUMP'S 'MENTAL STATE' IS QUERIED
Befuddled Don under fire over new mix-ups
Reytons aim for a big KO
CHART contenders The Reytons are ready to deliver a knockout blow to album rival James Arthur.
NO JUSTICE
Families' fury as monster 'gets away with murder'
Royal Mail: We'll stamp out 1st class
£650M POST SHAKE-UP
Liar Liar.. YOUR pants are on fire
EXPERTS: WE KNOW IF YOU TELL PORKIES
Turk a break
RUSH FOR MED HOLS TO BEAT WINTER BLUES
FLAB'S ARMY
We're too fat to waddle into war with Vlad (….and shove your conscription)
RWANDA FLATS 'ARE ALL SOLD'
Where would we house migrants now?
Let's. Play. Darts!
LITTLER HEROICS MAKE ARROWS OUR FAVE SPORT
A NATION OF SHOPLIFTERS
Theft cases jump to over 400k
MONSTER IN COURT
MONSTER Josef Fritzl is seen outside jail for the first time in 15 years.