Half A Family

Our History teacher wants us to do our family trees. Well, mine is more like a forest!

- Cath Delaney

My name is Conrad and I’m 13 years old. Today’s a really good day. I’ll tell you why in a bit, but first you need to meet my family.

I have three sisters and two brothers, all half. That’s because my mum has four kids, including me, to four different men and my dad has three kids, including me, to three different women.

I bet you had to read that a few times to get your head round it. We were told to do a family tree in History and I got a detention for saying mine would be a forest. Well, to be honest, I said a word beginning with F before forest and Mr Jakes went ape. He’s never liked me anyway. In fact, none of the teachers like me, except for Miss Barlow, who teaches English and is ace. She says I have a great imagination and gave me top marks for a story I wrote about aliens.

I’ve got the most messed-up family in the world. None of my mum’s kids live with her. Samantha is 20 and has a baby, which makes me an uncle. Half, that is. Jordan is two years older than me and lives with my nan, my mum’s mum, who also looked after Samantha until she moved out. Kallie’s nine and lives with my Auntie Jade, Mum’s younger sister. My dad’s first kid, Laura, lives with her mum, Emma. Laura’s 18, I get on with her the best, but she’s working now, so I don’t see her as much. She texts me a lot, though.