It's a COMPARISON trap

Even picture-perfect couples go through rough patches. Here's how to avoid the social media comparison trap.

WHEN YOU ENVISION YOUR "DREAM" COUPLE, there's a chance your own relationship (if you're in one) isn't the first thing that comes to mind. Maybe you have heart eyes for one of those super cute celebrity pairs with the seemingly perfect house, perfect kids, and perfect life or an überwealthy influencer who isn't shy to show off extravagant and romantic getaways with their spouse. Heck, even the high school sweethearts from your hometown might be your #relationshipgoals. Most partnered-up people (yes, even those with healthy and stable connections) fantasise, perhaps a little more than they should, about what could be improved or fixed in their relationship, says Andrea Battiola, a sex therapist and counsellor. "We don't even know whether what others portray online is authentic or not, but it's hard to resist questioning yourself and thinking, Oh, what's wrong with us since we don't have that?" Battiola says. Maybe if your partner was hotter or richer, or left you flirty notes or gushed about you on their feed, you wouldn't feel like you're missing out, right?

The very human (and research-backed) tendency to socially compare and contrast may lead us to assume that other people are having better sex, going on fancier dates, or dealing with less conflict, but longing for the "perfect" relationship can end up sabotaging the one right in front of you, Battiola adds. Sure, you and your boo may not be an enviable match 24/7, but fighting, bickering, and even getting sick of each other occasionally is not only normal but, more importantly, realistic, Battiola says.