MUSIC, TAKE CONTROL

As someone who had always sought safety in numbers, ALIZA FATMA often wondered what her own company would feel like. The answer arrived unexpectedly when she attended her first-ever music festival, one of the largest in the world, all alone

At the beginning of 2024, I resolved to spend more solo time in the real world, getting to know myself beyond what my Instagram algorithm showed À me so that I wasn't scrambling to change my whole personality from Barbie to Brat at the drop of a hat. The first thing I did was go on a monsoon trek with a group of complete strangers.

Everyone else came with people they knew, but I spent my time in absolute silence taking photographs and making friends with monkeys. I watched more films in the theatre by myself. I travelled. I ate alone in restaurants, which was what I was most nervous about. I'd always thought it would be sad and pitiable, that people would look at me and wonder who had stood me up. When I did it, though, I realised it was actually hot and mysterious.

I could order what I wanted without asking for the opinions of others. I could watch people and eavesdrop on their conversations. I could read Ottessa Moshfegh while my eyes were obscured by oversized sunglasses.

I could be anyone.

None of these adventures, however, could have prepared me for what awaited me at Glastonbury.

On my first morning there, I accidentally got into the wrong car and instead of reaching the leisure camp, ended up at the festival itself. I was frozen on the spot, watching crowds thousand-strong striding around like little ants. What was I doing here when I'd never even been to a concert before, when I'd spent my weekends bingeing TV shows alone, getting up only to receive my food delivery?