IF YOU TYPE 'I don't want to turn into...' on Google, 'my mother' appears among the top three search terms. I was a teenager when I first told Amma that I would cease all association with her if she ever turned into Nani. I never had a close relationship with my grandparents. I was respectful when we met and forgot about them as soon as I boarded the train back to Delhi. When Nani succumbed to diabetes at the age of 74 last November, Amma had been her primary caregiver for a year.
It would be safe to say that Nani was an incredibly difficult patient. "Jab saamne hoti hun toh itna gussa aata hai. Bahut bura bhala keh deti hun. Later feel very guilty...and restless," Amma said to me over WhatsApp in October 2022.
"I totally understand. I'm sure I have done that with you."
"The thing is, we are not addressing the main issue," she typed back.
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Current affairs
Elif Shafak’s work abounds with references, memories and a deep love of Istanbul. She talks to AANCHAL MALHOTRA about the significance of home and those who shape our recollections of the past
A drop of nostalgia
A whiff of Chanel N°5 L'Eau acts as a memory portal for TARINI SOOD, reminding her of the constant tussle between who we are and who we hope to become
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Love bomb me, please
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