When you become a mother, it's really easy to start putting yourself second. Despite our best-laid and most feminist plans, babies are born physically and emotionally reliant on their mothers. As a result of this, the habit of neglecting yourself in order to care for your child is formed early - and it's hard to break.
Taking care of your physical, emotional, financial and intellectual needs should not be a bonus you fit in once everyone else in the house is content. You don't always have to be at the back of the self-care queue.
Neglecting your desires leads to anger and resentment, especially if it falls to you to make sure everyone else is fed, entertained and getting enough sleep. Resentment is poisonous to relationships, making it impossible to truly connect with your children or partner. If you're feeling angry, your feelings are justified.
If you feel like it would be selfish to ask for more time, energy or resources to devote to yourself, it's time to acknowledge the fact that you are a human being, and you matter just as much as any other member of your family. Your feelings matter. Your physical and mental health matter. That caring for yourself makes you a better, more energised mother and sets a good example to your children is just an added extra. You deserve self-care.
Before kids, meeting your own needs might not always have been easy, but it was a hell of a lot simpler. After kids, even finding the time and headspace to figure out what those needs are feels like a bit of a luxury.
This is your cue to spend a bit of time thinking about yourself. There are six main types of self-care [see right]. As you may have noticed, the boundaries between these different types of self-care can get blurred. Taking a yoga class can be physical, emotional and social self-care, for example.
Denne historien er fra April 2023-utgaven av Psychologies UK.
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Denne historien er fra April 2023-utgaven av Psychologies UK.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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Why Are We So Sensitive About Being Sensitive? - Feeling empathy, energy and emotion keenly is not a failing - it can be your strength and your superpower, discovers Yasmina Floyer
All of us are sensitive - it is the very nature of being human. However, as with most behavioural characteristics, it exists on a scale. Jenn Granneman, founder of the world's largest community for introverts and co-author, along with Andre Sólo, of Sensitive (Penguin, £10.99), tells me about the characteristics of someone who is highly sensitive: 'Simply put, if you're a highly sensitive person, your body and mind respond more to the world around you. You respond more to heartbreak, pain, and loss - but you also respond more to beauty, new ideas, and joy. You're more affected by everything around you, but you also draw more from these experiences.
Try a Little Kindfulness - Make kindness a conscious practice and infuse your life with everyday abundance, writes Dr David Hamilton
The more we care about others, the more we realise that most people are just like us - trying to figure things out and hoping for a good day. It's easier to fear what you don't know, but once you get to know people, the world seems a lot smaller and cosier. So next time you're tempted to scroll past someone's problem, dismiss someone's feelings, or just be in your own little bubble, remember: the world's a better place when we all give a little f*ck. Let's sprinkle that stuff everywhere like it's magical kindness glitter!
There's No Excuse to Slow Down! - Presenter, podcaster and author Gabby Logan talks to Psychologies about health, happiness, and overcoming hurdles in midlife...
Presenter, podcaster and author Gabby Logan talks to Psychologies about health, happiness, and overcoming hurdles in midlife...When TV presenter Gabby Logan started to experience brain fog in her late 40s, struggling to recall the correct word or name on live TV, she initially put it down to tiredness. 'I couldn't quite get that name or articulate in the way I had previously been able to, so I was concerned, but it coincided with lockdown and not doing any telly for a while. I remember feeling quite nervous going back to live TV.' But the former international gymnast soon realised that it was a symptom of perimenopause and promptly went onto HRT, which she says has balanced her hormones.
Kindle your creativity
Increase your sense of connection and support your self-expression, urges Caroline Butterwick
Fast and filling!
Join the high-protein revolution and eat better everyday, with these full-of-flavour recipes from nutritionist Scott Baptie's new cookbook
What's your optimum?
Eating well can cure what ails us, so why is it so hard? Anna Blewett discovers the secrets to a more resolved relationship with food...
"FRIENDSHIP DELIVERED SO MUCH OF WHAT ROMANTIC LOVE HAD PROMISED"
Author Marianne Power talks to Psychologies about self-love and the sisterhood...
Summer break or make!
Hello, lovers! September is here, and the lazy holiday season is behind us. And for many-me included - now feels like the perfect opportunity for a personal kick up the backside, and to embark on a relationship reset. In my work, it's typically women who take the first steps accessing couples' help, but recently (and encouragingly) I've noticed an uptick in men reaching out to get relationship advice and wanting to put the work in.
Time to spread their wings
As the seasons shift and shudder, threatening rhythm and routine, Heidi Scrimgeour embraces September in all its bittersweetness...
Big wild world
Caro Giles fills up her cup with summer colour and awaits autumn wonder...
