Take your time, find your balance
Psychologies UK|April 2023
Learn to slow down and allow yourself to become immersed in the moments that really matter
Kaki Okumura
Take your time, find your balance

It is perhaps more common to meet individuals who like to move fast, and in big and bold moves, rather than those who see taking their time as the appropriate way forward. Personally, after moving to New York, it only took me a day to pick up on how nobody waited for the pedestrian crossing lights to turn to green, and that the traffic lights were treated more like a suggestion than a rule. Everybody's always in a rush, and an extra minute saved is seen as an extra minute that can be put to work elsewhere.

This mindset stems from a society rooted in fierce competition and, to keep up, many people believe that we need to be doing more and in less time. It is easy to empathise with this need to push ourselves to a psychological and physical limit to get ahead, and it doesn't take much leaning into the world to understand where it's coming from. Competition starts at an increasingly younger age, and spending your twenties working 12-hour days is not unheard of. People pushed to their limit will often go to the extreme for a solution - because when taken over the edge, extreme solutions seem like the only option. Yet, I believe the real solution to our perceived need to work more lies somewhere less revolutionary.

There is a story that I enjoy that I discovered inside The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz (Amber Allen, £11.99), about a man who wished to rise above human suffering and find enlightenment.

The man wanted to find someone who could guide him to his goals, so he spoke with a Buddhist master.

'Master, if I meditate for four hours a day, how long will it take me to transcend?'

The Master looked at him and said, 'If you meditate for four hours a day, perhaps you will transcend in ten years.'

Thinking he could do better, the man then said, 'Oh, Master, what if I meditated for eight hours a day, how long will it take me to transcend?'

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