Forgiveness is an essential tool for our mental and physical health, our relationships, and our overall well-being. It's an act of strength and self-care that allows us to move on from painful experiences, and find peace within ourselves.
'Forgiveness is the act of letting go of the negative thoughts and feelings you hold towards a person who has harmed you,' says psychotherapeutic counsellor Alice Brooks. 'Without the ability to forgive, those negative emotions can stay with you, festering away and making you ill. By giving those malignant feelings an outlet, and breaking free from the negativity, you can replace it with a level of understanding - or, ideally, empathy for the wounding party, whilst still holding them accountable for the harm.'
To better understand the benefits of forgiveness, it helps to understand what happens when you don't forgive.
'When treated unjustly by others, people tend to get angry,' explains "forgiveness trailblazer" Dr Robert Enright. There is nothing wrong with initially becoming angry - anger, at first, is good. Yet, if that anger does not dissipate, and takes up residence in the person's heart, it becomes an unwelcome guest that doesn't know when it's time to leave. The initial anger can turn into toxic, unhealthy anger and can last for decades. It is this deep, long-lasting anger that causes harm by creating fatigue, restlessness, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, and mistrust of others.'
'By not forgiving and holding on to resentment, we are keeping those bad feelings within ourselves, and allow the "persecutor" to continue to hurt us,' adds Brooks. 'We can only control ourselves and, so, to empower ourselves, we have to take action. We have to hang on to the steering wheel and decide where we want to go in the future. The harmful act may have harmed our past, but we can choose how much we allow it to harm our future.'
Denne historien er fra August 2023-utgaven av Psychologies UK.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent ? Logg på
Denne historien er fra August 2023-utgaven av Psychologies UK.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
Why Are We So Sensitive About Being Sensitive? - Feeling empathy, energy and emotion keenly is not a failing - it can be your strength and your superpower, discovers Yasmina Floyer
All of us are sensitive - it is the very nature of being human. However, as with most behavioural characteristics, it exists on a scale. Jenn Granneman, founder of the world's largest community for introverts and co-author, along with Andre Sólo, of Sensitive (Penguin, £10.99), tells me about the characteristics of someone who is highly sensitive: 'Simply put, if you're a highly sensitive person, your body and mind respond more to the world around you. You respond more to heartbreak, pain, and loss - but you also respond more to beauty, new ideas, and joy. You're more affected by everything around you, but you also draw more from these experiences.
Try a Little Kindfulness - Make kindness a conscious practice and infuse your life with everyday abundance, writes Dr David Hamilton
The more we care about others, the more we realise that most people are just like us - trying to figure things out and hoping for a good day. It's easier to fear what you don't know, but once you get to know people, the world seems a lot smaller and cosier. So next time you're tempted to scroll past someone's problem, dismiss someone's feelings, or just be in your own little bubble, remember: the world's a better place when we all give a little f*ck. Let's sprinkle that stuff everywhere like it's magical kindness glitter!
There's No Excuse to Slow Down! - Presenter, podcaster and author Gabby Logan talks to Psychologies about health, happiness, and overcoming hurdles in midlife...
Presenter, podcaster and author Gabby Logan talks to Psychologies about health, happiness, and overcoming hurdles in midlife...When TV presenter Gabby Logan started to experience brain fog in her late 40s, struggling to recall the correct word or name on live TV, she initially put it down to tiredness. 'I couldn't quite get that name or articulate in the way I had previously been able to, so I was concerned, but it coincided with lockdown and not doing any telly for a while. I remember feeling quite nervous going back to live TV.' But the former international gymnast soon realised that it was a symptom of perimenopause and promptly went onto HRT, which she says has balanced her hormones.
Kindle your creativity
Increase your sense of connection and support your self-expression, urges Caroline Butterwick
Fast and filling!
Join the high-protein revolution and eat better everyday, with these full-of-flavour recipes from nutritionist Scott Baptie's new cookbook
What's your optimum?
Eating well can cure what ails us, so why is it so hard? Anna Blewett discovers the secrets to a more resolved relationship with food...
"FRIENDSHIP DELIVERED SO MUCH OF WHAT ROMANTIC LOVE HAD PROMISED"
Author Marianne Power talks to Psychologies about self-love and the sisterhood...
Summer break or make!
Hello, lovers! September is here, and the lazy holiday season is behind us. And for many-me included - now feels like the perfect opportunity for a personal kick up the backside, and to embark on a relationship reset. In my work, it's typically women who take the first steps accessing couples' help, but recently (and encouragingly) I've noticed an uptick in men reaching out to get relationship advice and wanting to put the work in.
Time to spread their wings
As the seasons shift and shudder, threatening rhythm and routine, Heidi Scrimgeour embraces September in all its bittersweetness...
Big wild world
Caro Giles fills up her cup with summer colour and awaits autumn wonder...
