'Don't be so sensitive', 'You're overthinking it', and 'You care too much' are phrases I've heard a lot throughout my life. I have often found myself easily overwhelmed by stress, replaying a scenario in my head for days, and feeling both my own and other people's emotions deeply. I thought there must be something wrong with me, as I just couldn't understand how other people could be so unbothered by situations that I found so overwhelming. Then, a few years ago, I came across the book The Highly Sensitive Person (HarperCollins, £14.99) by Dr Elaine Aron, and each page I read felt like another light-bulb moment - this was me.
Expert advice
Hayley Stanton is a coach and the founder of Quiet Connections, which helps quiet or sensitive people make meaningful connections, so they can flourish as their true selves. quietconnections.co.uk
Rachael Wyartt is a coach and the co-founder of Kiltti, which aims to show how being kind is a real strength, and has a multitude of benefits. kiltti.co.uk
If you process information deeply, are sensitive to your environment, and have heightened emotions, then like me, you too could be a highly sensitive person (HSP). It is not uncommon - it's thought that around 20 per cent of the population are highly sensitive, or have a genetic trait that means they process internal stimuli (thoughts, emotions, hunger) and external stimuli (sounds, smells, light levels) more deeply than others. It is not a medical diagnosis, or a disorder, and despite how you may have been made to feel, it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you - you are not weak, you just experience the world slightly differently to other people.
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Denne historien er fra July 2023-utgaven av Psychologies UK.
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