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COL IS OUT TO CONKER HER FEARS
Bonkers spider repellent

SANTA & ELVES CRISIS AT XMAS
No festive helpers for the grottos

PETS V VETS
Cats, dogs & donkeys get more in wills than heroes

We're in for hot & steamy spell
ROMPS BACK ALONG WITH SUN

Noel's a choc 'n' roll star
WINE & AFTER EIGHTS AT GIGS

IRAN DENY DEATH PLOT FOR TRUMP
Charges over 'Don hit bid'

SPEECHLESS
Gunners' loss has Mikel raging as Salah helps Kop leapfrog sad Pep

'A total eclipse of the Art'
WHEELS ARE OFF MIKEL'S TITLE BID

FORD JUST OFF TRACK
George misses twice late on as All Blacks manage to clinch a thriller

Herb's on top
FARNWORTH STARS IN VICTORY

SPINNING JOE'S HEAD
Chohan caught Root's eye

Highly eVolved
SWEDE CAR BRAND FANS 'NO TURNIPS'

Let's get it on.. in my shed
RATS' GARDEN SEX

BETTER LOCH THE OTHER WAY, MRS!
Monster skinny dip at home of Nessie

Prem Cole kick-starts Padd fad
BEAR DUFFLES DEMAND

RASH TO THRASH CROOKS
'Ring of steel' for gaff

PASS THE GERMOTE CONTROL
Flickers dirtier than loo seats

The name's Bond...Jeremy Bond
CLARKSON NEXT 007?

Boffs: We made real web 'gun'
SPIDEY COMES TO LIFE

MOUSTRASHED
Number of 'taches is halved in past 10yrs

AID SHOT IN 'DARK
Poldark a blur for Turner

2,000 MISSING IN FLOOD HELL
Fear mass graves will be exposed

BOMMY NIGHT'S BINNED
Killjoys cancel fireworks

Conker bash ring of steel
SCANNER TO SMASH CHEATS

DANNY DRIVER
I buy £200k Bentley..now kids treat me as chauffeur

NOT A BAD WEEK FOR TORY KEMI
Badenoch lands the top job

DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS
Arne Plotter has got magic tactics

ERIK IN FERGIE TIME
Ruthless Ratcliffe won't hesitate to seal his fate

Boo Radley
VICTOR BUZZED TO MAKE IT

YOU BETO BE PLEASED
Toffees super sub strikes to snatch point for Dyche's side