Breaking free

Having courageously walked away from a dysfunctional marriage to carve out a new life for herself, Vanisha Uppal says that providence supports those who take the first step

In the beginning, marriage seemed to be a good option, but later on, her priorities changed. She felt that her financial and emotional dependency was looked upon as her weakness, especially when it came to being a fulltime housewife and mother. In order to earn respect and to prove herself perfect to her own family, she forsook her individuality and physical health. But now, she wants equality: the same freedom, money, and respect enjoyed by men. One might call her egoistic, but this ego pushes her to grow independent, and she is not ashamed of it.

How will she take charge of her life after 10 to 20 years of working as a full-time housewife and mother? How will she regain her lost selfconfidence?

Recently, at a PTM (parent-teacher meeting) at my daughter’s school, I met Puja, the mother of my daughter’s friend. Seeing her from behind, I took her for a 25-year- old, but looking at her face, she seemed to be 55. Yet her eyes were full of hope. While waiting for our turn, she asked me “Is it very difficult to get separated from your husband? After 15 years of our marriage, my life is a mess. My husband is still possessive and controlling. I feel I am done, but who will support me? My parents are so innocent. Where will I go? What will I do? From where will I get the money?” She shared all this with me because she knew I separated from my husband four years back. It was a long and tough journey, yet a magical one, to find happiness, to be more confident, to face the challenges, and to let go.