Women Who Earn More Than Their Partners

Men have traditionally been considered the main earners of the household. But over the past few decades, more and more women have been earning more than their partners. How has this affected relationship dynamics?

- Loretta Marie Perera

In Singapore, stereotypes of the assumed roles of men (breadwinner, provider, head of the household) and women (caregiver, homemaker, housewife) still linger. However, it’s no longer rare for women to out-earn their husbands or boyfriends. We speak to three women about how their higher income affects their relationships.

Keeping it open and honest

Vanessa, 30, is in a long distance relationship with SrÄ‘an, 33, from Croatia. She’s a deputy editor of a travel magazine and, with the exchange rates, has an income three to four times higher than that of her partner’s, who works as a hotel reception manager.

“I think we have a good dynamic where we can talk openly about anything – even if it feels uncomfortable in the moment,” says Vanessa. “Money continues to be a touchy topic, but I think we are trying to reject that notion by talking about it as honestly as possible,” she adds.

Srdan agrees. “There is an indoctrinated obligation amongst Croatian men to be providers,” he says. “The dating culture in Croatia reflects this as well, as men who are not financially independent and of ‘inferior’ financial means will be considered less attractive.”

To counter these mindsets, he and Vanessa keep an open dialogue about the setbacks of their cultures. “We’re overcoming these gender doctrines of our respective societies,” he says. “We fight it by nurturing a communication style that is completely free of any shame or holding back.”

“[We] talk exhaustively about everything,” Vanessa adds, stressing the importance of being willing to see things from the other person’s point of view, and being open to admitting when a misstep has been made, or an opinion has been biased.