In this 24/7 world of juggling work, life and relationships, losing our cool once in a while has become standard. Here, Lizzie Pook reveals how to keep calm and carry on (dignity, firmly intact)
![How To Give Good Confrontation](https://magarticles.magzter.com/articles/5149/240586/59c9643ddaf41/How-To-Give-Good-Confrontation.jpeg)
At a dinner party before the last general election, I found myself stumbling on my argument as to why I was voting a particular way. Ordinarily, I can voice my opinions in an eloquent, intelligent manner. And I don’t know if it was the heightened emotions, conflicting opinions among friends or the empty wine glass, but I found myself backed into a conversational corner as voices grew louder and angrier. I left feeling frustrated and misunderstood – like a debating team drop-out.
Confrontation is a given, especially in the current divisive political climate, yet it often takes us by surprise and leaves us belatedly feeling let down. So what’s the best way to deal with it when conflict arises? Unsurprisingly, experts maintain that the most effective way to settle (and actually win) disputes is to do so quietly and calmly. ‘I always tell my clients to think back to a time when either they lost their temper or they witnessed another party losing their temper,’ says life and business coach Gemma McCrae*. ‘I can guarantee it didn’t look good. It’s rarely productive to be intimidating when you’re confronting someone.’ And Catherine Thomas, managing director of leading family divorce law firm Vardags, concurs. ‘In my experience, those who try to shout their way through a negotiation are covering up for a lack of knowledge, sophistication or confidence in their position,’ she says.
What can be helpful as a starting point – if you’re looking to tackle disputes more effectively – is an awareness of how you react to confrontation. Are you a knee-jerk aggressive if someone queue-jumps, or do you disappear the second a pub debate gets too heated?
Denne historien er fra October 2017-utgaven av Marie Claire - UK.
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Denne historien er fra October 2017-utgaven av Marie Claire - UK.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
![Uma Thurman](https://reseuro.magzter.com/100x125/articles/5149/375007/5da5b4141d2c5/crp_Uma-Thurman.jpg)
Uma Thurman
‘I Managed To Stay In The Business That I Love All My Life, And I Know That’s Not A Given. I Can’t Not Feel Lucky About It, No Matter What The Downsides Can Be’.
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Pollution Proof Your Life
From your daily commute to your wood-burning stove, you’re unwittingly inhaling a variety of toxic substances. But you can take action to reduce their impact, reveals Claire Thorp.
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We Love Lucy
From a star-making turn in Bohemian Rhapsody to a leading role in sassy new Netflix show The Politician, Lucy Boynton is ready for her close-up. Here, she tells Jane Mulkerrins about her life-changing year.
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Human Touch
Connecting with others can have a confidence-boosting effect, support skin health and help you live longer. Here’s why the wonders of physical contact really matter...
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Facing The Floods
Photographer Gideon Mendel has spent 12 years capturing the extreme rise in flooding across the globe. Here, he tells Marie Claire about the devastating human impact.
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'Learn How To Please Yourself First' –and Other Sex Tips From Our Mums
Three mothers and daughters explain how talking openly to each other about sex, identity and pleasure has strengthened their relationship and enriched their love lives
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10 Mindful Ways To Approach Health And Well-Being
From cortisol-free fitness to stress-busting diets and calm skin, Fiona Embleton reveals ten mindful ways to approach health and well-being
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Sex Crimes on Campus
This month, thousands of female students will head for university, but many will become the victims of sexual assault and harassment.Polly Dunbar investigates the alarming rise of college rape culture.
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Fight The Fear
Approximately ten million people in the UK suffer with a debilitating phobia. When Charlotte Haigh’s fear of flying threatened to damage her mental health, she took action…
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Celine Dion
‘Growing Up, I Used to Feel Awkward and Insecure. I Remember Not Feeling or Looking My Best’