CATEGORIES

Brit: My career is over

BRITNEY Spears says she will \"never return to the music industry\"

UK 'no help on boats'

FRANCE has accused the UK of not co-operating with efforts to reduce mithe grants crossing Channel in small boats.

Gramps clobber 'trendy'

OLD FOGEY FASHION FAD

Margot kills off Barbie

MARGOT Robbie is not toying with the idea of a Barbie sequel yet.

BUY OUR WI-FI OR WE KILL YOU

5,000 forced to use drug gang's internet service

IT PAINT THE END OF THE WORLD

Gloss glass to reflect sun away from Earth

SPACE SH*TS

Lying ET nuts out to cash in

£1.99 PINTS TO BEAT 'DRY JAN'

Bars battle to lure Brits back to the beer

Poppins star dies age 100

MARY Poppins star Glynis Johns has died in Los Angeles at the age of 100.

Logan's mum is 'Game'

TRAITORS star Diane has been keeping a big secret... her son is Game Of Thrones actor Kerr Logan.

Sir Rod £10k tip for bet

SIR Rod Stewart left a £10,000 tip for hotel staff and suggested that they \"stick the lot\" on Scotland winning the Euros.

I WON'T CHUCK MY GIRL

LUKE vowed he and his girlfriend will \"stick together whether anyone likes it or not\".

GAME ON!

Luke: I'll spend chunk of my £200k on Xbox.. and snacks

FAKE VLAD BLOW

AN alleged body double of Vladimir Putin has survived an assassination bid, reports say.

ANDY ORGY WITH GIRLS' ON SIN ISLE

Sex claims resurface in court papers

Orange warning

BRITS FEAR DON

Spandau belly

TONY: UNDIES THROWN AT ME ARE NOW ENORMOUS!

DONAARGH,

It's so close but no kebab as wonder kid Littler pipped by No.1 Humphries

CRY JANUARY

Klopp faces month of mayhem that could derail season

SQUAD GAME

Johnson says Irons can handle loss of stars

LIV AND LET LIVE

Mcllroy tees up apology for being too judgemental

Love Island Laura back acting again

STAR'S DRAMA QUEENIE ROLE

FOMO is keeping us porky

Would-be dieters feared missing dinners with their friends

PIGS SQUEAL-LY GOOD FOR KIDS

SCHOOLS are being urged to adopt a micro pig in 2024 to encourage empathy in the classroom.

US brief on 10 bodies

POLITICIANS summoned have been to a top-level classified briefing next week at which they could be told if mankind has evidence of aliens.

DOC'S SUED AFTER FLOP TODGER OP

A MAN is suing his doctor after a botched penis enlargement operation left him with a smaller willy.

WEBBER: MY REAL PHANTOM TERROR

Says poltergeist haunted posh home

Anyone fancy a spot of lunch..?

BIG CAT DATING

MICHAELA: LET'S EAR IT FOR BUG

MICHAELA Strachan says she has a soft spot - for earwigs.

Geronimo death has cost me an alpacket

OWNER: I WILL SUE GOVT FOR £500K LOSSES