CATEGORIES

Unexpected human in the bagging area

HALLELUJAH! SUPERMARKET REPLACES PSYCHO SELF-SERVICE TILLS WITH SOME ACTUAL PEOPLE

STICK YOUR XMAS PARTY BOSS

Please give us cash instead, plead staff

Kiddy cat loo-sers

CHILDREN WHO SELF-ID AS FELINE TOLD: NO LITTER TRAYS IN SCHOOL

PURPLE PAIN

IT WAS supposed to be an evening of celebration for Liverpool but the team-mates of Luis Diaz clearly did not read the script.

Harlem to take over the family business

HARLEM EUBANK has his uncle in his corner and his dad in his heart as he looks to become the latest in the family to reach the top.

ALLA-HO НО НО!

ALLAHO was cut to 3-1 favourite make (from 5-1) to Ryanair Chase history after impressing on his return from injury at Clonmel yesterday.

SHOP STOCKED WITH YESTERYEAR BRANDS

THIS time-capsule shop closed over 50 years ago after its owner refused to go metric.

BAFFLED ROBOT KILLED WORKER

Man crushed like a box of veg

My arse attack

‘HIBERNATING ON SOFA CAN BE REAL SICKENER’

CRUELLA ON THE BRINK

CRUELLA Braverman faced calls to be sacked last night after attacking the Met over pro-Palestine protests.

Close Encounters of the Turd Kind

MISSING POO IN SPACE STATION

'Ginger Ninja' is terrorising village's dogs

A PSYCHO cat has been terrorising dogs and chasing their petrified owners down the street.

Diaz dad freed

KIDNAPPERS LET HIM GO, TIRED BUT UNHURT

ARTY GRANDPA A DEAD RINGER FOR VAN GOGH

AN ARTIST pulled off a masterstroke by revealing people mistook him for Vincent van Gogh – and it has boosted his struggling career.

PUMPIN' UP FUEL PROFITS

Drivers charged rip-off prices

SAME FOLD STORY

ERIK TEN HAG believes his Manchester United side are ‘resilient’ – well, they better start showing it soon or he will be facing the axe.

ONLY WAY IS CUP

Gareth: Silverware will inspire Kane

YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU

Dud’s Army urged for one last push

RUDOLPH A DEAD NOSED REINDEER

Thousands killed on roads

I weeded out my problems

JAMES CLEANS UP

CIVILIANS MOVING SOUTH FOR SAFETY

PALESTINIANS flee northern Gaza to the south of the territory amid heavy bombing.

WINS an incredible TalkTalk broadband package this winter

WORTH OVER £800!

BOFFINS BEST AT BOFFIN'

Exhaustive research by, er, boffins, reveals they are definitely very sexy

IT JUST HAD TO BE ROO!

Sub Bardghji leaves Ten Hag bottom of the table

Brotherhood of Man City

JACK LIKES SMELL OF TEAM SPIRIT

STARTIN' AGAIN

Diaz is 'safe' in Klopp line-up

CROCK OF GOLD

Hop-along Stokes delays op and produces the goods

Kids want robots as footie referees

CHILDREN want to see sport transformed by Al bot football referees and performance-enhancing exoskeleton suits.

SHY BLOKE WIG 'HELL'

Fflyn feeling the heat

ALFIE BOO!

Star comforted by dad's ghost