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TOP SECRET CODE: PASSWORD 1234
Security Centre ignores own advice
SUN BURP TO EAT INTERNET
Nasa alert as solar flares batter Earth
EL KAABI DROPS EMERY AT THE EXIT
Villa suffer a rank bad night in Greece
CHILLED CLARET
Vin not daunted by must-win clash
LANDO HOPE & GLORY
Norris sure he has drive to thrive in the future
The world's strongest madman!
VLAD PALS CAR PULL STUNT
Stormy: I had sex with Orange Turd
DANIELS HITS BACK AT LAWYERS
STALLIONAIRES
Town where horses are worth £1billion
BABY REINDEER: HE'S PSYCHOTIC
‘Real Martha' slams hit show writer
I fought off sword attack with teddies
DAD: MIRACLE WE SURVIVED
It's Eurovision song not wrongs contest
BUT RYLAN BACKS ISRAEL PROTESTS
FLOOD GATORS
Beasts invade city after dam collapse
Loreen has Euro vision for our Olly
UK ACE TIPPED
The ascent of manhood
WILLIES GETTING SCHLONGER
SYDNEY'S A SOCKS SYMBOL..
HOLLYWOOD starlet Sydney Sweeney channels her inner Nora Batty as she wears knee-high stockings on a night out.
BIKE JIBE BARTON'S SUED BY TV'S VINE
Libel case over nonce tweet
CHIPS? NO! GIVE US FRENCH FRIES
Invaders now nation's fave
HANDS OFF MY PICKLE!
A MALE gorilla playfully clings to a plastic gherkin.
KILLER COUGH
Five babies die as whooping cases boom
SNAKE FRIGHT AS THEY LOOK TO BITE
SNAKE attack warnings were issued ahead of the weekend scorcher.
HEY HEY WE'RE THE MADNESS!
Ben: We tried to make Nutty Boys the new telly Monkees
STICK FILTHY WATER BOSSES IN THE DOCK
THE shadow environment secretary called for water bosses to “end up in the dock” for dumping sewage.
BIGGLES POLL HIT
THE Tory crisis deepened further as Labour racked up its biggest poll lead since “Lettuce” Liz Truss was PM.
BBQ Britain sees a boom in burger & banger sales
SIZZLING Brits will be going burger and bangers bonkers this weekend.
Suspicious rinds
THERE'S ELVIS IN MY BACON..
NASA We need to see Uranus
‘MISSION TO ICY PLANET BY 2031'
JOS THE JOB JUDE
Real late show sends Bellingham to final
SPAINFUL FOR KANE
Joselu wrecks Harry trophy dream
GREEKY BUM TIME
Acropolis now as Omar fears a Villa backlash
NICE COOL DRINKE
Josh refused to let his emotions spill over