TO BE A MIDDLE-AGED MAN IN SOUTHERN California is to find yourself saying, with alarming frequency, "Yeah, I'm one of those assholes now." If you've come from somewhere else-somewhere more corn-fed and homespun and other synonyms for unhealthy-you may adopt a wholesome habit out here. You may reap physical and emotional benefits, and you will be clowned to death by your friends from home. CrossFit, breath work, bullshitting through a gratitude journal-I've tried them all. Some have had a positive impact on my life; others have given me items to sell on OfferUp. (I'm looking at you, matcha stirring bowl.)
This year has been especially busy on the humiliatingly healthy habits front. Maybe it's a post-Covid focus on fitness, or a more robust wellness marketplace, or the fact that I hit my 50s and need to get that shit started now if I want to live forever. Whatever the reason, 2024 has been a boom time for people who want to sell wellness stuff to Dave Holmes, and the truth is that a lot of it works. Here's an incomplete list of the kinds of assholes I am now.
THE COLD-PLUNGE ASSHOLE
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Denne historien er fra Summer 2024-utgaven av Esquire US.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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hasan minhaj had a very strange year
The comedian felt the wrath of the Internet AND lost a career-defining job opportunity. NOW he's back with an interview series, A NEW NETFLIX SPECIAL, and a fresh perspective on his COMEDY.
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I Wore This Jacket to Death. Now It's Even Better.
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Check Yourself
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