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BATSH*T: RWANDA IS A GOER
Home Sec pledge to Tory rebels
Don't eat the WHITE snow
Boffs: Don't eat bug-filled white snow
RIDING HIGH
Morsy sends Tractor boys top
FLAWED REDS ARE FLOORED
Ten Hag's rock-bottom flops fail to make Europa League
GILDIROCKS
Arrows ace Andrew's a real headbanger
SMACK OUR HIT LYRIC UP
Bands replace 'offensive' words
GARAGE: I'M A FIGURE OF FUN
Unhappy that boss made a rude gesture
E.T.IS LIGHT YEARS AWAY
About 12billion of them to be precise
TARBY'S HIT-RUN SHAME
Veteran comic admits shunting parked cars
WHOOPS! NO FESTIVE HUGS
Boffins tell us to wear masks & ban cuddles
BIGGLES HAS A BAD LANDING
PM scrapes win on Rwanda vote
Hair's Donny
THE COMBOVER TRENDY AGAIN
EMOJIS NEED TO BE REAL FUNGIS
Eco-boffs call for fewer animals, more plants
Throw a Wombler Madame Cholet!
REMAKE DROPS HER FRENCH LILT
MP'S STICK OVER PRITT
£6 glue bill fury
THEATRE OF DREAMERS
Old Trafford faithful can be the difference for Ten Hag
FLYING SQUAD
BUKAYO SAKA was told to hop on the plane to Holland despite missing training with a foot injury as Mikel Arteta fights to keep his team spirit intact.
OH MY COD
Price turns to chippy after canning cans
FIGHT FOR THE LIGHTS
Aspinall awaits the honour of Wigan's big switch on
BASH BALL
Somerset's Shoaib all set for his biggest Test
KIN 'N BEAR IT
Shishkin still on target for Christmas cracker
MORONS RIDE OUT OF ORDER
Vandalism and theft sees bike scheme ditched
PETER'S BACK, SACK'N CRAIC!
Gig helps theatre that fired him
New Chicken Run to ruffle a few feathers
FARM FLICK 'WILL MAKE YOU VEGAN'
VERY MERRY CRINGEMAS
The office party's back.. but we're dreading boozy gaffe
ROYLE FAMILY'S SUE: KIDS' LOVE FOR THE SHOW WOULD THRILL OUR CAROLINE
CLASSIC sitcom The Royle Family is a big hit with kids more than a decade after it ended.
Friendly aliens' Charmageddon
ALIENS landed at the Chernobyl power plant after the nuclear disaster to \"suck radiation from the air\", a Netflix series claims.
HOT SEX
Steamy romps reduce heating cost
POINT BLANK
Trafford forgets draw heroics
IT'S CHELLSEA
Russo is double trouble for Hayes