CATEGORIES
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BANGER OUT OF ORDER!
Ban vegan 'sausages'

SPOT THE BILL
Ace Harry charges footie fans £237 for private video message

CROWN GROAN BOWLS
Prankster's sex noise

BARMAGEDDON
£2.5bn of debt 'put thousands of pubs at risk'

It Ain't Half Hot Mel blasts Beeb
NO REPEATS A 'DISGRACE'

YOU PLONKERS
Only Fools lingo is now part of how Brits talk

Nudist members are on the rise..
MORE BARE ALL TO BEAT THE BLUES

SWEARBOTS!
AI's X-rated bosses rant

Budgie smugglers pain Down Under
TINY TRUNKS 'DAMAGE OZ REPUTATION'

JAMIE & THE VERY ANGRY CATERPILLAR
Dornan agony after golf course bug sting

I'll keep my inner circle close to my heart
EMMA SMILING AFTER THE PAIN

'You need players who are hungry to fight for the badge and fight for this club'
SAYS ERIK TEN HAG

MANCHEST..ERRR
Now only time will tell if United made a massive rick in Sancho treatment

BEST DAYS!
Silver service is family affair

Let's Rhap
EWAN'S HURDLER A CRACKING BET

A BREATH OF FRESH SEA URGH
Brighton air UK's dirtiest

Cheers to AI
BREWERY USING ROBOTS TO MAKE 'BEST EVER' ALE

A PINE MESS..
Trees blocking paths

THE FEARER SEX
Young men worry more than women about getting old

Reality all stars look for love... again
HERE come the girls... all looking for love.

BEEB'S JETSET
Fortune on travel & hotels for staff

FURY: I'VE BEEN TOE TO TOE WITH GHOSTS
Tyson dad's 'visits from his mum'

Have an ice day..
BRITAIN IN THE FREEZER

SVEN: I'LL SHARE FINAL DAYS ON TV
Dying 3 Lions chief Eriksson in tell-all doc

FREED RAPISTS 200 ATTACKS
Beasts let out to strike again

HAPPY RETURNS
Harries has hopes of a Midlands homecoming worth remembering

Target to top Djok's power
HOLGER RUNE has called for the next generation to \"step up\" and end Novak Djokovic's domination of men's tennis in 2024.

He's a Bash sweet kid
SHOAIB BASHIR will be England's ultimate surprise package on their tour to India.

Get'em send off
OLDEST MALE STRIPPER MIKE BOOKED FOR GIG AT WOMAN'S FUNERAL

COME SPY WITH ME
Air crew sign to be '007s'