CATEGORIES

Sore Ron has shot at the yellow

POTTY world snooker champ Ronnie O'Sullivan weed on his fingers to try to treat blisters after practising too much.

£550 TO JUMP QUEUE FOR GP

NHS patients sick of waiting

Rishi hug at G7 for Zelensky

RISHI Sunak met up with Volodymyr Zelensky at the G7 summit as the Ukraine president closed in on obtaining the F-16 fighter jets he wants.

HOLLY 1 WALLY O

PHILLIP SCHOFIELD QUITS THIS MORNING AFTER FEUD WITH WILLOUGHBY.. AND EVEN THE GOPHER'S HAPPY

Harmy: Get Jof primed to Lord it over Aussies

ENGLAND are right to take every precaution to ensure Jofra Archer is “fit and primed” to burst into explosive Ashes action

POSTIE STRIKE

But Wallace says heill deliver

Revved up!

SPRINTER WORTH STUDYING

FOREIGN FRY-UPS PANNED

IT’S a frying shame what they’ve done to the great British breakfast!

THIGH NOON

Councils gunning for lapdance ban

Nutty squirrels ate our power cables..

PESTS CAUSE WFH HAVOC

ALIENS' KNIGHT RIDERS

UFOs look like KITT

REPAIR LAIR'S BEEN SHOPPED

STARS of The Repair Shop are so popular they now get mobbed at their studio

FIAT FLINGS OF THE ROAD

FIAT drivers are the biggest love cheats on the road

Maddie's legacy strong 17yrs on

MYSTERIES don’t come any more baffling than the disappearance of Madeleine McCann

BEER WE GO..

Fan jets off on footie adventure

Coronation treat video from royals

THE Prince and Princess of Wales have released a behind-the-scenes video documenting their role in the Coronation weekend

Out-of-control bots big threat to human race

A PIONEER of artificial intelligence is warning the tech is a threat to humanity – and the Government is not doing enough to protect us

Starmer's 'dirty' bid for power

LABOUR is prepared for a “dirty and nasty” campaign ahead of next year’s General Election, Sir Keir Starmer says.

TRAIN CHAOS SUMMIT PLEA

Lynch: End toxic rail dispute

PHILATELUST

Stamp collectors make best lovers.. say stamp collectors

Charli chuck

MODEL Charli Howard says she was attacked by a plate-throwing poltergeist.

Good brews, folks

BOFFINS TO SAVE BEER FROM HEAT

£36K JUST TO SIT ON MY ARSE..

Ricky's video messages a hit

SHAUN'S DEAD SAFE END-OF-WORLD BET

TEAMING up with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost is the best way to survive a zombie apocalypse or alien invasion.

TROLLS TOO QUEK TO CRITICISE US

QoS Sam message to keyboard crew

Ban the riff-raff roughing up refs

WHO would be a football ref? As thankless tasks go, it’s got to be up there with being a traffic warden.

FERGIE GRIME

Man U sign trophy duster for museum

EUROVISION'S DRUGS 'FLOOD'

Big cannabis influx targets tourists

OSBOURNE: I HID EXORCIST LINE IN SONG

OZZY Osbourne hid a secret message on one of his records as a tribute to The Exorcist.

UKRAINE HITS VLAD MISSILE

‘Slap in the face for Russia’