CATEGORIES

WATER BILLS TO RISE 84%

Ofwat heading down plughole

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE, WE'RE HAVING A LAUGH

Fired-up Unai aims to keep flying high

NUNO'S JOLLY WOOD HERO!

Chris seals win after Dean clanger

THE BRICK SLAYER

Foreman Fabio is built to last

HORSE POWER!

Lew looks on to a winner

TALKING OUT YER JURASSIC

Boff blasts Spielberg 'because dinos Cretaceous

Generation of 'spoiler brats

FILMS TOO SCARY

SPOILSPORT

James Kops few boos after kid pen saves

I'm fuming Corrie killed off our Les

FURIOUS SOAP STAR 'BATTERS' TELLY BOSSES

Phone pop-up told me Liam was dead

SISTER COULD NOT BELIEVE ALERT

TRADESMEAN

White van men owed thousands by clients

HUM LIKE POOH AND FEEL BETTER

Sound will soothe mind & heal body

Psycho gulls on the pill

BATTLE TO REDUCE SEX-MAD VERMIN

YOU BUNCH OF LEAD BUFFOONS

Firms to remove toxic pipes - by year 3273

Sex? No, I'd rather get my nails done!

SALON SESSIONS FEEL FAR BETTER THAN PASSION

1,000 MORE LAGS OUT OF JAILS EARLY

Move to ease crowded prisons

HEMP-IRE BUILDING

Lauren hailed after City comeback win

TOON NOT WORTH WAIT FOR GOALS

Howe unconcerned by the blanks but new faces are needed to revive his side.

NOR WAY THROUGH

Lando loses out in tussle with Max

WILL'S ECO BLOW

Ascot flop bled

Back in Tuch

ENGLAND BOSS MATCH FIT AFTER BODY REBOOT

BOBBY DAZZLER

Sparkling darts legend nicks skaters' cool look

Clarkson's harm

JEREMY Clarkson said he'd had a \"S*** week\" after being plunged into a double near-death drama.

GIG TICKETS ..SUM YOU MIGHT PAY

FANS would know a ticket's price straight away under a proposed law tabled following the Oasis backlash.

KNIT WITS!

Gen Z's latest fad is oldies' woolies

TAKE YOUR MARKS, GET SET, & GO-BOT!

Robot's speed record so slow

Love pours for hero Chris

SHOCK AT CYCLE CHAMP'S BLEAK CANCER DIAGNOSIS

FIR CRYING OUT LOUD!

Bugs to wreck Xmas

I might be late, boss

HURRICANE-force Storm Ashley was this morning set to trigger rush-hour chaos and a surge in sickies - as workers claim blocked roads mean they can't get to the office.

PIE-GELLA

TV cook swaps posh nosh for festive Greggs