CATEGORIES

ELVIS DINO ROCK

Boffins say fossil quiff is just like The King's

DON'T HUG YOUR DOG

Police advise pups 'don't like it' in bid to stop new attacks

PILOT: DON'T FLY TO GREECE

'It's a bad idea' passengers told

OUR EYEBALLS CAN BEAT BOTS

Retina scan to halt rise of Al bodysnatchers

PIGCA$$O

Painting porker's works fetch £1m

I'm busier happier & fitter than ever.. thanks to public

FALLEN TV presenter Michael Barrymore is on the comeback trail after a health kick made him feel 30 years younger.

Rescued: Parrot who went for long squawk

EXOTIC BIRD STRANDED UP A MOUNTAIN

FATCATS PAY GAP WIDENS AS CUTS BITE

Rich leave workers behind

'He was one of the finest talents Britain has produced in the last 60 years'

FOOTBALL MOURNING THE LOSS OF A HISTORY-MAKER

MODEL CITIZEN KANE

Son hails Harry as a true pro

CAM: WE HAD TO URN OUR LUCK

AUSTRALIA admitted they “got out of jail” at Old Trafford after securing the Ashes despite being dominated by England

Max in a different league

MERCEDES boss Toto Wolff believes Max Verstappen’s dominance of the sport is so one-sided he is making the rest of the grid look like they are racing in a junior category

LAM SIGNING TOPS LOT SAYS CHRIS

CHRIS CHESTER reckons his finest recruit has been head coach Adrian Lam

LOVELEIGH JUBBLY

Chester appointment has brought life to Leopards

MANC METH HEAD CRISIS

City's sex party drug 'explosion'

SKINNER'S 'TEST' FOR ANOTHER FINE MISS

FRANK Skinner used to test the suitability of potential girlfriends by seeing if they laughed at Laurel and Hardy

REST EASY ΜΑΜΑ

Star Billie's pain over death of beloved Pepper

HOW TO LIVE AN EXTRA 20 YEARS

Eat better and get more sleep

We turn off love Switch

‘JOB COMES FIRST’

A first rate journalist.. a kind and decent man

NEWSREADER EVERYONE LOVED

ALIENS' SHIP ON MARS?

Nasa finds mystery spikes

Boffs: Give robots boffin brains

BOFFINS and boffinesses have been handed a fortune to develop human-style brains for machines

ONE IN A MILLION

Pals remember Britain's first £1m player as true great.. and true gent

EMILE EXCITED ABOUT FRESH START

ARSENAL'S Emile Smith Rowe revealed how he is feeling fresh, fit and ready to prove his worth at the Emirates after a \"really tough\", injury-interrupted season.

Harvey's forward thinking

HARVEY BARNES has signed a five-year deal at Newcastle and hailed his move to St James' Park \"an attacker's dream\" Barnes has completed his switch from Leicester for a fee up of up to £38m.

DOCTOR DRE

Onana will alter the way we play says Heaton

CIA link to JFK and ET

THE 1963 assassination of JFK has been linked to the investigation of UFOs in a bombshell US government file.

T-BIRD ROBOT MEDICS ARE GO

FAB first aid help for disaster zones

Majority giving a jab 'not doctor'

MOST of the people giving cosmetic surgery injections including Botox aren't qualified doctors, a study found.

The class of 2023

FIVE new pupils have joined The Beano's Bash Street Kids so they better reflect modern Britain.