CATEGORIES

LUVLY STUBBLY

It's a close shave.. but most men have beards

Nigel finds the key to Harman-y on Strictly

STAR MEDITATING TO WIN

SOUNDS LIKE A SOGGY BOTTOM

No escape from Bake Off microphone

FOOTIE ACE SEX WITH SOCKS ON

`Randy England stud in rush to score with me'

NICE WEATHER ..FOR JELLYFISH

Warm spell sends swarms our way

Smellton John

PAL BERNIE SAYS ROCKET MAN'S A PARP LEGEND

STORE STAFF ATTACK LAW

Shopworkers demand protection

Euros are in sights

DOM EVEING MASSIVE TARGET

A BLANK SLATE

Roy's back on board in predictable stalemate

HARV A GO

Elliott has mantle of old pro'

Mack the knife to give Boks bashing

IRELAND took down world champs South Africa in a Paris humdinger to put one foot into the knockout stages and lay down a massive marker

Poch shot

MAUR: WE HAVE ZERO TO PROVE

KYLE CALMS THE NERVES

Walker in the park after Rod red

Bridge Of sighs

GOALS WIN GAMES SO WHERE IS POCH'S BEST STRIKER? AH, ITALY...

Big day for Sig

MILLION maker Julie Camacho won the Ayr Gold Cup cash in dramatic circumstances with Significantly

FREE WILL

Jacks on the front foot

WFH IS PAIN IN BRUM..

We miss the office buzz

BONKERS WEVVA BASHES CONKERS

German ammo for world champs as storms batter UK

Con artist Rishi has bin rumbled

WE all know politicians have a rocky relationship with facts

SPOT THE BALLS

Superstitious footie fans wear holey ‘lucky pants’

My horror at parents rumba on our sofa..

STRICTLY LES 'TRAUMA' AT WITNESSING FOLKS' ROMP

MIRIAM: I WAS THE EFFIN' FIRST

Margolves TV F-bomb in 1962

BRAND 'POUNCED IN BACK OF LIMO

Forced into sex act after tights ripped'

Gross encounters of the third kind

TELESCOPE SNIFFS OUT E.T. GASES

AIMAGEDDON

Fears Vlad and Xi will give bots control of their nukes

I AM RAILING

Rod spends 2yrs moving his train set

EX-PMs BLAST SUNAK'S HS2 'MUTILATION'

FORMER Prime Ministers have warned Rishi Sunak against “delivering a mutilated HS2

CRISIS? WHAT CRISIS?

United falling apart but Ten Hag says...

COPY & PASTE

Pochettino: I love the Prem but there are just way too many impersonators in today's era

HOLM RUN

Oli's sights now on play-offs