CATEGORIES

My Coles encounter with UFO

REV: I SAW SAUCER

Only way to survive zombie hell is Essex

JOEY & PALS APOCALYPSE SAFE HAVEN

CRUISE: RIDING THE TUBE IS TOP FUN

The Top Gun star, 60, said he commutes on public transport while making movies in the capital.

PARROT'S RUDE A-QUAKENING

The quake had a magnitude of 3.7 and tremors were felt up to 100 miles away.

Erik the red is the wheel deal

BOSS DRIVER IN FOR LONG HAUL

BIG MAC & TRIES

Tigers are ready to sink teeth into world champs

Hamilton claims new tyre law will fall flat as it risks death of drivers

The ban could come into force as early as next year, with a vote of the sport’s major players due to be held after the British Grand Prix in July.

LIGHTNING STRIKE

Borthwick's men lay down Law against tame Dragons

Murray finds Dev-astating Dan too hot

The Scot paid the price for slow starts in both sets to lose 6-4 6-4 in Doha.

LEADER OF THE PACK!

Joe: Ben's best skipper ever

PHOTO BAN AT GEORGE GRAVESIDE

Pop fans warned off

BEEB CAN'T BE TRUSTED

One-star rating on internet

BE NICE TO JAILED SEX OFFENDERS

Prison officers 'sensitivity' lessons

VIRGINHAM

Brummies 'least likely to have sex'

BEWARE ICE OF MARCH!

Extra month of winter

No sex please, we're naturists

'IT'S CLEAN MEMBERS ONLY HERE'

Evil bread

SATANISTS GONE WOKE WITH BAKING CONTESTS

RUNNING OUT OF APPLES & PEARS!

New food shortage fears over orchards

Dosh of the day

£1K TO TREAT YER MUM FOR MEAL AT GORD RESTAURANT

THE BOT WILL SEE YOU NOW

AI 'to cut missed hospital trips'

Sir David's focus is on wild Britain

SIR David Attenborough has said he regrets spending so much time working on overseas natural history programmes rather than focusing on wildlife closer to home.

HOTEL LOTTA LOVE

Led Zep preferred Monopoly to sex..

Ukraine rally call from PM

RISHI Sunak has told world leaders they must arm Ukraine now and set about boosting its long-term future against further Russian aggression.

NO FINNISH FOR WINTER

A Hel of a cold snap on way

VICTIMS FREEZE

NEARLY a fortnight after an earthquake displaced millions of people in Turkey and Syria, many are living in tents, train carriages and greenhouses.

You beautiful person, Atsu: You'll NEVER be forgotten

BODY IN QUAKE RUINS

FURY AT UK TANK FORCE CUTS

THE British Army's tank force is to be shrunk to save money leaving us with the smallest armoured capability in Nato.

ARE YOU OUR MADELEINE?

McCann family contacts Polish girl who claims to be daughter missing for 16 yrs

Johnny: My close encounter

JOHNNY Vaughan is warning Earthlings to beware being abducted by little green men.

OFF-SICK STAFF BLAME ALIENS

'I won't be in. it's something I've E.T.en