CATEGORIES

GERMOPHOBE KELLY BANS MARK FROM BED!

Micromanages hubby at home & on the air

PINHEAD KUTCHER CANCELS HIMSELF!

Eats crow over lame support of rapist Masterson

KISSING COUSINS!

It's all in the family for married couple after DNA bombshell

FIRED BUTLERS TRASHES KING!

Insists Charles will never live up to his mother's legacy

BILLION-DOLLAR BLOODBATH!

U.S. taxpayers fund gov’t plan to slaughter nation’s wild animals

ZACH CAN'T HACK IT!

Cagey country star runs from spotlight

2 GUNMEN IN JFK ASSASSINATION!

Truth revealed after 60 years!

FOXX HEARING WEDDING BELLS!

INFATUATED Oscar winner Jamie Foxx has fallen hard for galpal Alyce Huckstepp and is raring to put a ring on it — but friends fear the lifelong bachelor is rushing into a mistake, The National ENQUIRER has learned.

KUTCHER & KUNIS CANCELED!

Tone-deaf support of rapist pal Masterson knocks them off A-list

MEG RYAN CRUSHING ON KEVIN!

FORMER rom-com queen Meg Ryan would like soon-to-be single Kevin Costner to make her Sleepless in Seattle — or anywhere else — say sources.

FUNNYMAN COLBERT CRACKS UP!

Sidelined workaholic's wheels are coming off

MONEY TALKS ON TV CHAT SHOWS!

Stars defy striking writers to cash in

ALIEN MUMMIES REVEALED AT GOVERNMENT HEARING!

Fossilized corpses with three fingers found in Peru mine

FAT MATT PIGS OUT ON JUNK & CIGS

MAMMOTH Matthew Perry’s hankering for junk food and cigarettes is sabotaging his self-proclaimed effort to get healthy, say sources.

DUMPY DONALD'S FAT'S IN THE FIRE!

Only fooling himself & putting life at risk with fibs about weight

FOX HAS BIG BEEF WITH BURLY BRET

FOX News doughboy Bret Baier isn’t getting good reviews for his jowly new look, according to sources who claim the network’s underwhelmed execs are dropping less than subtle hints he needs to lose the flab!

PACINO GAINS HEFTY 50 LBS. IN PARENT TRAP!

LARDY Godfather legend Al Pacino is digging his grave with a knife and fork after being humiliated by his money-hungry baby mama’s successful bid for his bucks, tipsters tattle.

THICKE SKINNED!!

Galpal orders pickled Robin to get sober!

SHRINK HELPS HEATER WEATHER THE STORM!

HEALTHY honey Heather Locklear looks like a new person and has clearly recaptured her mojo following a lousy spell — and the recovering addict owes it all to her shrink, insiders tell The National ENQUIRER!

FAMILY INTERVENTION FOR AILING OZZY!

GLOOMY Ozzy Osbourne fell into a deep depression as his Parkinson’s disease and crippling spinal issues deep sixed his performing career — but his crafty kin came up with a unique way of pulling him back from the abyss!

TIMOTHÉE'S FANCY CLAN SNUBS KYLIE

Reality babe isn't good enough for him

ARIANA CHANGES TUNE: BOTOX AIN'T GRANDE!

PONYTAILED pop princess Ariana Grande, 30, reveals she’s given the kiss-off to lip fillers and Botox — after finally admitting she monkeyed with her mug for years!

FOX BOOTS FINLEY FROM HENHOUSE!

Another one bites dust at the troubled network

JIMMY IN A JAM!

Failing Fallon on firing line as he's branded more toxic than Ellen

MARGOT BAGS BARBIE!

Leaves Ryan to kick off Ken sequel without her

NO ENDLESS LOVE FOR LIONEL & DIANA!

Ex-Supreme bails on old duet partner, for Beyoncé party

BARKEEP WALLEN IS CRUISIN' FOR A BOOZIN'!

COUNTRY wild card Morgan Wallen is opening a six-story bar and venue in Music City, but friends fear the hard-partying hitmaker may swallow all the profits — and drown his professional future!

PANDA-MONIUM!

D.C. Zoo's beloved bears heading home to China

UNDERWOOD POPS COUNTRY'S BALLOON!

SONGBIRD Carrie Underwood is talking about changing her tune by switching from country to pop — with visions of following Taylor Swift’s footsteps into global superstardom!

GOBSMACKED GABBY PREPS FOR BABY No. 3!

BABY-BURPING Gabby Barrett always wanted to be a young mother — and now she’s really making it happen!