CATEGORIES

'8 month hay fever' not to be sneezed at

POLLEN AGONY

Kloppelganger

LOOKALIKE'S JOB FEAR AS JURGEN QUITS

RAIL MISERY FOR EASTER PASSENGERS

Strikes & line closures hell

Fae has his eyes on prize

HOSTS Ivory Coast will continue to draw strength from adversity as they seek to complete one of the great Africa Cup of Nations comebacks against Nigeria today.

Jord to get Ajax armband

JORDAN HENDERSON is set to be named the new captain of Ajax.

Rod Star

MUNIZ TURNS ON THE MAGIC

TIME TO MOVE ON UP

FEW clubs like to live in the past more than Manchester United.

FARBY: BET ON ROOTY

JOE ROOT must become England’s batting superglue once more if the tourists want to savour sweet series success in India.

PRIDE & GROOM

Battle of beards

CELLETUBBIES

TUBBIES ‘Jailers’ offered Dipsy new look as kiddie cons ‘scared’

TAKEAWAHEY

Sizzling kebab scoffers ranked top in bedroom

JAMIROQUAI STAR DIES IN CAR CRASH

Jay & band's heartbreak on bassist Derrick, 66

RAID BULL

Shoplifters target energy drinks

LOVESICKIES

Staff off with broken hearts on Valentine’s

ABBEY: ALIENS BUZZED MY CAR

Three UFOs on the A3

IT'S FLOODY VALENTINE

Not much to love as storms hit

Ozzy's going bats at Kanye

RAPPER 'HAS NICKED SONG'

£3.4BN IN GOVT DEALS FOR FUJITSU

..despite Post Office fiasco

DEALS OR NO DEAL!

'Frustrated' ETH is after new players - or he's off

PLACE IN OUR HEARTS

We have to give our all for the Busby Babes

DON'T GO DOWN DRAIN, MAINOO

Some sound advice for kid who has world at his feet

BIRTHDAY BLOWOUT

Zak gets no party favours

Fake eyelashes gone in a blink

SHOPLIFTERS TARGET £1 FALSIES

IT'S A GIANT SLEEP

Astronaut dreams

DEL'S JAM IS CUSHTY

Only Fools star's homemade jars

SPOT THE BILL

Fans spending more on footie than the missus

TEAM JAZ

Footie mad Traitors star wants to have 11 kids..

Jab's the 'dawn of new age'

CANCER BREAKTHROUGH

Craig: The truth is spaced out there..

STONED STAR SAW UFO FLEET

Me to loo! Paul's phantom flusher

CHUCKLE BRO CHILD GHOST TOILET TAUNT