CATEGORIES

PACKET IN

Cheese & Onion salesman blames Star for Kane row

GC: I'm coming back as a tall, thin model

GEMMA Collins is hoping to be reincarnated as a Victoria's Secret model.

GARAGE: NO SENSE IN BOZO!

Ukraine spat hots up

MARC MY WORDS

Stones backs his new partner for very top

LANDOH NO!

Second-placed Brit rues costly slip

THE BUTTLER'S DONE IT AGAIN

Deadly Jos inflicts fatal blows as Yanks spanked

CHEEKY DEVILS

Slippery Sneyd inspires Reds to rare double

ENGLISH CUP MISS

Impressive Royal Ascot winner to target Goodwood

ARMY RESERVES READY FOR WAR

Weekend warriors to get call-up

FURY AS RIVERS ARE POISONED

MOST UK rivers are polluted, according to tests by volunteers.

Psycho seagulls war with Cornish posties

ATTACKS HOLD UP THE MAIL

LATE NOT LATE

'Time blind' Gen Zers killing off punctuality

UTTER HELL' IN FLIGHTS CHAOS

FUMING travellers were left marooned for hours in \"utter hell\" after power cuts forced the cancellation of flights departing Manchester Airport.

FANS A WHIFF DRINK

Bots tip smelly cheese cocktails

Gotta bad feline

PET BOFFS: WE LOVE OUR CATS.. BUT THEY HATE US

SHOULD LINEKER STICK TO SELLING CRISPS?

Kane grins as Star man quizzes him on pundit's savage criticism

Down FOR THE account

AJ: I WANT SON TO BE A BRAINBOX

LAGS OUT EARLY TO FREE UP PRISONS

Almost 1,000 cons put back on streets

ALL HANDS ON DEC

Rice wants united squad to find their will to win

IT ALL GOES SOUTH

England up against it to retain their title

ALL FOR ROB

Headingley remembers inspirational Burrow

PLUMBTHING SPECIAL

Denny has Euro glory on tap

BJORN'S BATTLE OF WATERLOO

ABBA’S Bjorn Ulvaeus faced a tricky situation the night the band won Eurovision – stopping his skin-tight pants ripping open.

What do you want jam on it

FAVE BISCUITS DODGE FILLING

WEBCAM SLEUTHS HUNT MISSING JAY

Facebookers glued to live filming

OOH AAH NASA HAS NEW STAR!

£15m 'toaster' fires space lasers

Medal lie cop chief is guilty

AXE FALLS ON 'FAKER'

KIND WILLS MESSAGE TO ROB WIDOW

Sincere words treasured by family

FANCY A GONK

Pole boffins pass the time by talking dirty

UK DEBT HITS 60 YEAR HIGH

Leaders pledge to slash spending