CATEGORIES

Grave concern over Beadle's headstone

TV STAR'S NAME BARELY LEGIBLE

In-laws outlawed at Xmas

HARD-UP BRITS PLAN CRIMBO DINNER CUTS

BEDBUGS SPOIL IT FOR BOOKWORMS

Critters shut down library

LET OUR BEAVERS GO WILD & FREE

London Mayor wants rodents across country

Give Bozo hairdryer treatment

CLOWN PM'S YOUTUBE COVID ADVICE

WORST STORM FOR 69 YEARS

Weather washout to continue into the weekend

Footie legend 'lost balance standing up'

SIR Bobby Charlton died after suffering broken ribs in a fall at a care home, an inquest heard.

MUSK: AI TO MAKE HUMANS XTINCT

'More dangerous than the nuclear bomb'

RACE TO ESCAPE AT THE BORDER

First Brits finally flee Gaza warzone

SHAMING OF RED ARROWS

Elite team's boozy sex antics

RAIDING PARTY

MORGAN SMITHIES has completed his big-money move to Canberra Raiders and been called into the England squad for Saturday’s clash with Tonga.

I WANT TO BE MR SILVAWARE

MARCO SILVA would love to be the first Fulham manager to win a domestic cup.

THIN SQUAD, FAT CHANCE

FOR a man who has spent £400m in just 18 months, Erik ten Hag has few options as he tries to save Manchester United’s season.

RYAN SHOWING DUTCH OF CLASS

PEP LIJNDERS believes Ryan Gravenberch is back to his best for Liverpool following his nightmare year at Bayern Munich.

POCH A SHEAR-LEADER FOR JACKSON

MAURICIO POCHETTINO says Alan Shearer is wrong to suggest Nicolas Jackson is not a natural goalscorer.

WULLAERT SPOOKS LIONESSES

ENGLAND endured a Halloween nightmare as the Lionesses were stunned by Belgium in the Nations League.

Big Evs able to win from back

MICK APPLEBY is confident Big Evs can adapt if taken on for the lead in the Breeders’ Cup Juvenile Turf Sprint.

Stop rot for Mott

MALAN ON A MISSION

Lembit: Nigel will be King of Jungle

'NATURAL' TO THRIVE ON SHOW

BOOM IN THE USA

Terrifying nuke to be built

IT'S HOL OVER

Brits forego big Summer breaks for extra trips..

STORM CIARAN TO RUN & RUN

90mph gales as 'nasty' new deluge set to batter UK

Ex: Loving Matt was so painful

FRIENDS STAR PERRY 'COMPLICATED'

WHAT A BIG PITY

Oil firm profits slump to mere £2.7bn

MIND YOUR LIP!

Suddenly, moustaches are young and trendy

INSANE

PM Bozo & senior officials sloped off on holiday as Covid fears gripped the country..

GAZA CAMP HORROR

UP to 50 people were killed when an Israeli airstrike reduced a refugee camp to rubble.

JUST THE TICKET..

Govt halts station office closures

Messi is all-time gr-eight

LIONEL MESSI was crowned the men’s Ballon d’Or winner for a record eighth time after leading Argentina to World Cup glory.

I'd go out drinking and get hold of any bird I can. It was mad'

SEX, BOOZE AND HARD FALL OF PREM CHAMPION DANNY