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'GET OFF YER A***S'
Education Sec sorry for foul-mouth mic cock-up
Hold all calls I'm having a quick dip
WORK FROM BEACH
VEGGIE DRACULA HAS A BITEMARE
Real vamp never tried eating meat
REMEMBER FERGIE TIME? NOW HERE'S ARTY TIME
Rice and Jesus win it late for Mikel
IT'S MEE TIME
Sage Ben certainly knows his onions
JUDE AWE
Brummie is reigning in Spain
NO STAPPEN HIM NOW
Max foils Ferraris for perfect 10
WING KING
Tommy is still Makin' waves
YOU ANIMALS
RSPCA fury at thugs shooting critters for fun
Scrum 'n' get fit to cut crime
STARS BACK KIDS PLAN
VERNON: GO BACK ON BINS IF FAME IS HARD
Moaning stars blasted by down-to-earth Kay
PALS: WILL HUW BE COMING BACK?
No word from News at Ten icon in weeks
WE CAN LIVE TO RIPE MOLED AGE
Secret for a longer life is gene found in mammals
I need to know how Geronimo was killed
ALPACA JUSTICE' CALL
Too fat for crumbling hospitals
19ST PATIENTS BAN IN CONCRETE CRISIS
OB-LA-DI OH BLUR DAD..
Damon's arty pop split Beatles with John & Yoko intro
IT'S A HOT SPELL
UK set for sunshine all the way to Halloween
RED ALERT FOR CHINA HACK OPS
Hostile spies target Brit MPs
MAXIMUM IMPACT
Critics driving Verstappen to win last NINE races
FUL METTLE JACKET
Daunting challenge has Silva lining
BOWEN'S A TOP SCORER
Hammers ace spoils Hatters' homecoming
FATI BOY WIN
ROBERTO De Zerbi believes the arrival of Barcelona wonder kid Ansu Fati is a big moment for Brighton as they set out their ambitions for the season
LOW ROLLER XISCO
Under pressure Munoz makes plea for patience
Only way is up for Downes
FLYNN FLYING AGAIN AFTER MISERY WITH MOYES
FAIR COPP
Ace looks good down in grade
ANGEL DELIGHT
Flying filly can shock rivals
GIFT OF THE GAB IS BACK
Jesus to sink United in Emirates showdown
WE'RE AS SICK AS A PARROT!
Footie team flap after pitch invasion
TOON THE HATCH
Animated beer ad in ban over kid appeal
TRIAL IS DON TV LIKE OJ
Millions to see Trump in court