CATEGORIES

GARETH'S ENDING WAS A REAL SHAME

A RECORD £85m move to Real Madrid would be the stuff of dreams for any young footballer. Just ask Jude Bellingham.

EPIC BALE

Legend saluted as his loss hits home

AUSSIE MUPPET SHOW

It’s Oll-out war as Ponting and Hayden get stuck in

Ben's approach is Root to success

THREE days after tasting Ashes defeat in Birmingham, Joe Root believes he only has one regret – and it has nothing to do with his reverse scoop.

BOOMERS GOT NO SENSE OF HUMOUR

Older folks puzzled by new Gen Z slang words

A bowl of nice crispies

BREKKIE GIVEN BOOT

OZZY'S BATTY OVER A BULL

Rocker’s statue tribute

Ghost hubby had an affair with Marilyn

SPIRIT GIVEN THE BOOT

STAY OFF BOOZE OR EAT POOS

Liver patients in `crapsule´ trial

Mad Vlad rattles his nuke sabre

CHILLING THREAT TO WEST

TOO SUNNY TO FIX OUR LEAKS

..and winter is too cold

KIDDY CATS

School head: Children identify themselves as FELINES.. and wear ears and tails in classes

'Catastrophic failure killed all instantly'

THE search for the five missing Titanic tourists ended in tragedy after a “catastrophic failure” imploded their submersible.

The click boxers

TWITTER’S MUSK AND FACEBOOK’S ZUCKERBERG IN EPIC CAGE FIGHT

ANOTHER KICK IN WALLET FOR HARD UP BRITS

Interest rates highest for 15yrs

SLING THE BLUES

Kovacic, Havertz and Kante first out the door

McGinn's pour view

SCOTLAND midfielder John McGinn felt Georgia were “at it” when showing reluctance to get their Euro 2024 qualifier resumed at a sodden Hampden

SPURFECT MATCH

Beth's reaping reward for bold move across London

GUNNERS AT A LOSS OVER INVINCIBLE KIT

ARSENAL have been forced to pull their new home shirt from shelves while a “design error” is corrected by kit manufacturer Adidas

Guess Who loves England duty?

IT'S GAME ON FOR JOHNSON & YOUNG LIONS

CALLUM CALLS IT QUITS

LUCKLESS stand-off Callum McLelland has left Castleford – having been crocked for almost two years and never played a game

TALL ORDER

Little Jack to measure up against giant Alex

Conor's missing in action

MICHAEL CHANDLER has cast further doubt on Conor McGregor’s return to the UFC

WIZARD OF NOZ

Cam avenges cricket defeat

GOGGLECROSS

How Brits channel their TV flare-ups

SHY COUPLE IN NAME CHANGE

THE publicity-shy couple may change their surname from Windsor to Spencer in a \"bid to align with Princess Diana\", a royal expert claims

EX TELLS GEORGE'S WOKES LET IT BE!

Pattie: #MeToo's gone too far now

Oooh arrrr, it's a flying saucer

'DEVON DOME' SCORCHES SKY

ZEL GETS A SPY IN THE SKY

Satellite helps track Russkies

MUCKY PUPS

Eamonn's right.. it's dangerous to give your dog a sloppy kiss