CATEGORIES

Tories not fruit loops (says Tory)

MP DEFENDS PM HOPEFULS

STONES: START ME UP

City ace out to prove point to Pep

COLE AS A CUCUMBER

Noni: Sky's limit for laid-back pal Palmer

7 AND HELL

Agony as Alisson sits out key run of games

ROOT MASTER

Ton-derful Joe tops charts as England's greatest ever

PRIZE GUY

Coach of year Peters sets sights on OT

...AND IN THE WED CORNER

Jack aims to be lord of rings

TURNER PRIZE

Hayley on plum Ces ride

SIT IS TECH'S FAULT

Posture problems

RACCOONS INVASION!

A WOMAN was left terrified when 100 angry raccoons tried to invade her home looking for food.

ALASTAIR: WIFE'S CARING FOR ME

NEWSMAN Alastair Stewart has opened up about his \"demeaning\" battle with dementia.

TO BALDLY GO

Can't insult the follically challenged

SQUADDIE PAID TO SPY BY IRAN'

AN EX-soldier accused of a prison escape was paid in cash by the Iranian intelligence service for secret information, a court heard.

I'M TIP-TOP..13 DAYS A MONTH

But we feel 'lousy most of the time'

Trapped in Milton mayhem

FLORIDA BRITS STUCK

TEA BLAGS

Skivers dodge eight days work by making cuppas in the office

DOWN BOY!!!

Our hefty hounds and flabby cats must go on diet before it's too late

WASH HANDS TO SAVE THE WORLD

Bugs 'could wreak havoc this winter'

I don't want a boyfriend, I'm ROBOSEXUAL

NO NEED FOR BLOKES SOON

Vardy own goa

REBEKAH'S £100K BILL IN COLEEN COSTS ROW

AIN'T SO CLEVERLY AFTER ALL

Bookies' fave is out of Tory race

SHIRT-TERM MEMORY

Solanke still prizes gear from his only cap so far

DON'T STOP BELEEVIN

Levi's loving journey under Mr Motivator Carsley

OH DUCKETT

Pope falls to wonder catch as injured Ben's stand-in

GERWIN LOVES IT

Prix and easy for Price

LIV AND LET LIVE

Luke targets full-strength side

PUNK CROCKER

Anti-Botox brigade are flashing their wrinkles

LISA 'KEPT SON'S BODY AT HOME..

Presley: I delayed burial for two months

Poo mucky pups

OWNERS PICK UP STINK CALL

SANDI: I HELPED MOON LANDING

Aided spaceman’s anxious secretary